Prologue
December – 2014
January – 2015
February – 2015
March – 2015
April – 2015
May – 2015
June – 2015
July – 2015
August – 2015
September – 2015

Prologue

Sacrificial Years — 2015

Prologue

Before I start this< I wanted to share something. I called the last 16 months with Connie, “Sacrificial Years – My Turn”   The reason is that Connie had sacrifice some of her happiness and things she wanted out of life to take care of me. Now it was my turn top show her how much I cared by taking care of her.

Our life didn’t go as we had planned but we still had a beautiful life together. We were very active when we first got married, played tennis, rode bikes and all of the usual things. After I joined EDS, we thought we would see a lot of the country as we were very open to moving and just going to new places. During the first three years with the company, we did that and moved 3 times during that period. Then I was diagnosis with RA and it changed things.

It hit me pretty hard at first, especially the first seven to eight years to they get it under control. A lot of joint damage had been done in those years, and there were things other young couple were doing that we were unable to because of my RA.    

I will not going in to any more detail because I am not looking for sympathy but just wanted to say there was so much more that I know Connie would have like to have done with me if I was able.

December -2014

December 2014

She truly lived up to our wedding vow, “in sickness”.

Before I start the year 2015, I want to go over a few things that happened before then that maybe we should have picked up on.  I think during the summer of 2014 we were working in the yard and I remember Connie telling me that when she bent over she felt a little pain and she just chalked it up that maybe she needed to lose some weight.

I have no idea why I can recall certain dates. It does not make sense to me, but Connie looked it up and she told me a name for it. Anyway, on Monday, November 17^th, 2014, around 6 pm, Connie and I stop by a McDonald’s drive-thru and got a couple of burgers. We both got the same thing and we pulled over to our favorite place to park there and ate. That night Connie threw up and I think that was the first time.

Maybe I should have expected something because Connie, scheduled an appointment with her OBY/GN doctor for Thursday, December 11^th. But I guess at that time, I had no inkling anything was wrong.  Lizzie went with her to the doctor’s appointment.  I then met Connie and Lizzie at Papa Lopez and Connie was so upbeat because the doctor did not find anything wrong. Looking back on it now, I should have been more aware that something was going on because she usually did not go to the doctor.

In December we went to spend Christmas in San Antonio. You can read more about that when I wrote about that under Trips. Anyway, a couple of things happened there. We had planned on attending Christmas mass at the cathedral on Christmas day, but Connie asked to go to a smaller church on Christmas eve because she was not feeling that good. The other thing was on the way home we stopped for lunch at a fast food place and Connie did not get anything to eat and that was unusual. I guess looking back I should have put things together.

January – 2015

January -2015

I do not remember anything significantly going on in January, but I am sure she probably was not feeling well someday but I just cannot remember. On Friday, January 2^nd, we went to Dave and Lizzie and played games with them and their daughter. I remember we had a great time.

As I mentioned under one of the postings in “TRIPS”, Connie had gotten a speeding ticket on the way back from San Antonio. Rather than paying the fine, she opted to take a defensive driving course online. She was not feeling well so I took the course and when she took the test, I sat next to her and gave her the answers. I remember her panicking when I got the first one wrong. We made it through it ok.

 One other thing I remember is that we had eaten at a place called the “Black-Eye Pea” and Connie had gotten their turkey and dressing. We went to the same place the next day and she ordered the same thing but felt bad after eating it for the second time. We were not sure what was happening, but it did not happen very often at this time. Toward the end of the month around January 26^th, we went out to lunch with Margaret and Andy.

February – 2015

February – 2015

I also remember on February the 20^th, to be exact that Connie went to the stations of the cross and that was the last time she was able to attend the stations of the cross.

In February, I know Connie was not feeling well on the first Tuesday as she usually did Meals on Wheels (MOW) with Lizzie on the first Tuesday of each month. I took her place that day and did MOW for Connie. Afterward, Lizzie and I stopped by Scholotzsky’s for lunch. A couple of people that Connie and I knew from the Ranch were there and stopped by to say hello. Connie, Lizzie, and I all got a big kick out of it. Afterward, we laughed that all the old people had something to talk about now. I am sure they were all wondering what I was doing out with another woman.

There was some sad news in early February as one of our friends at McDonald’s wife passed away. Her name was Lynn and we had never met her as she was not in good health, but we did know her husband Frank from St. Jude and saw him at McDonald’s on a lot of Sunday mornings after the 8:00 mass. He also attended the 8:00 am mass on Sundays. She died on February 9^th, and we attended her funeral on Saturday afternoon on the 14^th. I was surprised when I saw a young lady that I used to work with sitting with the family. I am not sure why I had not put this together before then, her last name was Steinbeiser and that was Frank’s. With such an unusual name around here, I am not sure why I did not make the connection. She was Frank’s daughter-in-law and we had worked together for several years.

There was a Tuesday in February when Connie and I met up with our friend Lizzie and went into Plano to go and pick up some items from the Omaha Steak outlet that they had there. We decided to stop at a new deli “Baker Brother” that Lizzie had not been to. They served big sandwiches, so when you left there, you were full. That day was another indication that something was wrong because after eating Connie did not feel well and did not go into the Omaha Steak outlet. I knew she was looking forward to it and for her not to go I knew she was not feeling well. But later that day she felt ok.

We also went to see a movie one Saturday, in February. It was called “The Second-Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.”  The internet said it was released nationally on March 6^th, but I am sure we saw it in February. Connie was kind of feeling ok that Saturday morning when we went to see it. We enjoyed the movie and went to a place called “Pluckers” afterward for lunch. The reason we chose that place is we had won gift cards earlier in February playing trivia here at the clubhouse. Connie had ordered a chicken salad at “Cheddars” the day before and felt ok after eating it. So, she tried the same thing at Pluckers. She was not feeling well after eating it and we could not figure out why it was ok one day and not the next. On the way home from the restaurant she asked me to turn the heater up. That was strange as she always liked it cool, she hardly ever wanted the heater in the car on and if it was, she wanted it on low. On the last Sunday of the month, we went to the clubhouse with Andy and Margaret as it was prime rib night. I am not a fan of prime rib, but Connie loved the prime rib.

After February 29^th, of this year 2020, the calendar lines up exactly as 2015 did. Since that was the year Connie got sick, I am going to write about it as this year goes on.

March – 2015

March — 2015

March 2^nd, of 2015, was a turning point for us. Connie had not been feeling up to par for the last three months. She had some good days, but she also had some bad ones.

On this day we had gone to see Dr. Fleischmann, my Rheumatologist. I cannot remember if we had a late appointment at 4 PM, the doctor was just running late.  But it was close to 5:30 or 6 PM when we arrived back in Allen after coming up Hwy 5 rather than getting on Central Expressway. We decided to go to the new Wendy’s that had opened in front of the Walmart in Lucas. I think we both had the same thing which was a single with fries and a soft drink. That night Connie threw up which she had been doing a few times now.  

The next morning, I knew things were not good as Connie said Sparkie I need to make an appointment with the doctor. Now Connie never wants to go to the doctor. It was hard enough for me to get her to go once a year, just for a check-up. So, I knew something must be wrong if she wanted to see the doctor. Little did I know and would not know for another 7 to 8 weeks what was going on.  I called the doctor that day March 3^rd and got an appointment for March 12^th, which I felt good about as it was not too far into the future. 

On March 12^th, we met with Dr, Cooley and I know I was now genuinely concerned as I remember him telling me to be quiet. He would ask Connie a question and I was afraid she was going to downplay things, so I started answering. He reviewed her colonoscopy from just two years prior and everything looked good then.  I think he ordered a sonogram for the next day, but I am not sure. I know he gave her some pills and she thought they were helping at first.  

On March 13^th, we went in for a sonogram, but I do not remember much about it, and it must have not been very revealing as we did not go back to the doctor till about the 26^th. Connie has some good days and some bad days during that the next two weeks.

Sometime between Connie’s appointment with Dr. Cooley, Connie, Lizzie, and I went to a new Mexican restaurant called Ernesto in McKinney.  Lizzie was looking for a lot of boxes of cracker jacks as she wanted them for her father’s birthday party. Even though Connie was not feeling well she had been looking for them for Lizzie. Connie had found some, so on the way back, we stopped at a dollar store where Lizzie bout a lot of boxes of cracker jacks. When Lizzie needed something, Connie was always on the lookout for it.  You were such a good friend to her Connie, and I know she appreciated it.

On March 25^th, we went in to see Dr. Cooley again and he did an endoscopy. Lizzie, Connie’s best friend went with us.  The results of the endoscopy show that there was nothing wrong there. A strange thing happened; we met some good friends that we had not seen in about 20 years. The last time we had seen them was in the early to mid-90s. Their name was Frank and Chris Stanesic.  We used to see each other a lot and I remember going to see the movie “Hannibal” with them.  They had moved to another part of the Dallas area but still came back to Dr. Cooley for their colonoscopies.   It was good to catch up with them. The next day was a Friday and Connie and I went out with our friends Margaret and Andy.

Since Dr. Cooley did not find anything when he did the colonoscopy, he scheduled Connie for a PET scan on March 31^st, which was a Tuesday. That was when we got scared as the doctor called us a few hours afterward and sent us to labs that afternoon for blood work. Since Connie had done medical transcription, she was more aware of what they were testing for.  They were testing her for some different types of cancer. The one I remember was Ovarian. We would get the results on Thursday, April 2^nd.

April – 2015

April — 2015

I did not sleep much Tuesday night and on Wednesday morning I went to the 7 am bible study. At 8 I went into the church and prayed till the 8:30 mass started. I tried to call the doctor to see if they knew anything. but they kept putting me off. On Thursday, the 2^nd we went in to see Dr. Cooley and he gave us good news. He did not think it was cancer because nothing showed up in the blood work that he had ordered but he still did not know what was going on. Too bad he turned out to be wrong but at least for a few weeks we did not think it was cancer.  

If I remember correctly on Tuesday the 7^th, Connie was feeling well enough to do Meals On Wheels (MOW), which she did the first Tuesday of each month with Lizzie. I know she was not feeling well on the first Tuesday in February as I remember doing MOW with Lizzie.

On Wednesday, the 8^th, Connie was scheduled for an MRI at 7:30 AM in Plano. We got there early but it was late when they took her, and I do not think we got out of there before 10.  According to the doctor, the MRI was ok and did not give any indication of what may be wrong.  The next day we did adoration for Lizzie, from 10 to 11. Connie seemed to be filling ok.

On Friday, Connie, Lizzie, and I went to find a tulip field in Pilot Point. It was probably no more than a 45-minute ride, but I got lost trying to take some backroads. We had left before 10 and I had gotten us so lost that we finally reached Pilot Point around 12:15. We still had not found the tulip fields, so we stopped at a Mexican restaurant called “Ernesto”.  I was thrilled that Connie was able to eat some. A little bit more than usual. As we were leaving Lizzie, ask the lady when we were paying our bill, where the tulip fields were. It turns out that we were only about 5 minutes from them. We spent about an hour at the tulip fields and then headed back home. I took the direct route home and it took us only about 45 minutes rather than the three hours it took us to get there. We had goten there a couple of weeks to late as most of the tulips had been picked over or were dying but we still had fun.

On the 16^th, of April, which was a Thursday, Connie went into Plano for a small bowel test. She had to drink this stuff and it was chalky if I remember correctly, but the next day the doctor called us and said the small bowels test did not show anything unusual. We were relieved but wondered how many more tests she would have to undergo to find out what was going on.

Connie was told to drink a lot of water after drinking all that chalky stuff for the small bowels test and she did. For some reason, she was struggling as the chalky stuff seemed to have hardened, so on the afternoon of the 20^th, I took Connie to the emergency room. For those of you who know Connie, you know she must have really felt that she needed to go because she hated doctors and hospitals. After we got there, they decided that some of the chalky stuff had hardened. Luckily, it was down really low, so they gave her enemas to remove it. The next time we talked to Dr. Cooley he was surprised to hear that had happened.

On Thursday, April 23^rd, your last birthday, you got your haircut. You were not feeling well that day, but we went and met Lizzie for your birthday. We went late around 1 or 1:30 and ate at Paradise Bakery. I can remember you sitting there and realizing how bad you really felt. It was so hard bit at that time we still did not know what was ahead of us. I was just hoping things would be ok and that you would feel better the next day. On Friday we were going to go with Lizzie to the Colony and meet up with Maddie her niece who was in town from New Mexico for a band competition. You were still feeling so bad that we did not go.

Saturday, the 25^th Connie was feeling ok and we had a good day. We were going to sub at a bunco group that night and she was excited as she liked all of the people in that group and was hoping eventually if someone dropped out, we would be invited to join that group. On the way over, we had a long conversation. We were supposed to go to Albuquerque New Mexico in a couple of weeks to celebrate our friend’s (Lizzie’s father’s 80^th, birthday). Connie and I both had gotten to know him well and she was concerned about going because she had no idea from day to day how she would feel. I told her not to worry we did not have to let them know until the last minute and we would not go if she was not up to it.

Connie had a great time that night, even though she was not feeling as great as she could. One of the funny things about playing bunco with Connie was that she would sake the dice for a long time and hard. I remember Brian telling her she was going to shake the dots off the dice. When I was her partner, she would always tell me I was not shaking the dice hard enough.

The evening ended with them asking her to be a sub in a ladies-only bunco group and she was so excited because she enjoyed all the ladies in that group. Unfortunately, she never got to play. We had a great time that evening.

On the 30^th, we had another appointment with Dr. Cooley and he still did not know what was going on. He wanted to redo the first test where the Dr. thought it was cancer, but they still did not know for sure. We had done the first test at Envision in Allen, now he wanted us to go to get it done again (I think it was a cat scan). This time we were going to Envision again but the one in Plano had a newer and much better machine for doing the testing. He was hoping to get better information for making the diagnosis. He also talked that we were looking at something rare and started talking about maybe sending her to the Mayo Clinic, Baylor, Scottish Rites, etc.

It was around 2:30 or 3:00 pm That I got in the car to go there. They had called to schedule her appointment for the next day May 1^st. She had to drink 2 or more bottles (I am not sure how many now) an hour before the appointment. Rather than get there over an hour early and drink the liquids, we decided it would be better if I went and got them and she could drink them on the way to the appointment the next day.

Eve Guilbeau’s funeral was that day and I had planned on going to it. It was at 3 pm so I ended up missing it. Connie and I did not know Eve well, but they attended the 8 AM mass on Sundays. Her husband worked at the same place as Dave and Lizzie knew the family. Eve was a school teacher and she came down with ALS. It was a long difficult struggle for the family. She had two daughters who were in college.  

May – 2015

May — 2015

Friday, May 1^st came, and I know we were scared because, after all this time almost 6 weeks, we still did not know what was wrong. Connie and I left the house at 2 PM and took Sam Rayburn and the North Texas Tollway to the Envision Center in Plano. Connie would drink the stuff she was required to as we had to her 3 PM appointment. We arrived and did not have to wait too long as she was finished with her cat scan before 4. If I remember correctly, we stop by a hamburger place to eat but Connie was unable to eat.

We arrived home and Connie was so tired so I got her settled in the TV room and then ran out to CVS to pick something up. When I got back home, Connie and I received a call from Dr. Cooley, that based on the last results he thought she had cancer but was not sure and if so what type. I got home and found out what Dr. Cooley had told Connie, so I called him, and he gave me the names of a possible type of cancer she might have. He suggested our next step was to do exploratory surgery. We had talked the day before when we were at his office about what to do if this test did not show anything. He had said then we had two alternatives one was to do a colonoscopy and the other was exploratory surgery. Since Connie’s previous colonoscopy was only two years ago, he did not think he would find anything.

After talking to him and getting a surgeon name Dr. London to call on Monday, I start looking up some of the terms he used, and I got very scared. The next morning on Saturday, May 2^nd I sent this email to some close friends. It went to over 30 people.

Dear Friends,

We have an initial diagnosis. Rather than to try to call or talk to everybody individually, Connie and I decided to send an email, so that you all get the same information that we have at this point.

It was a hard call to take and, and we are adjusting to this news.  We are not sure of the prognosis or treatment until after exploratory surgery and talking to an oncologist.

The initial diagnosis is cancer of the abdomen.  Connie will be having exploratory surgery as soon as it can be scheduled to confirm this diagnosis. The doctor called us last night before 7 to tell us. He said the machine that was used yesterday was not available 3 years ago and this is the first time he had sent a patient for its use.

Connie & Sparkie

On Monday, May 4^th, I called Dr. London’s office at 9 AM. I was lucky as they said they could meet with Connie and me that day, but we would have to go to his office on Independence Pkwy in McKinney instead of his office in Plano. The appointment was at 3 PM. I remember the ride there very well as we were both scared and did t know what was going to happen. We both liked the doctor, and he told us not to get carried away yet, till he had a chance to go in there to take a look. He said there would be plenty of time to worry later if we needed to, but no one was 100 percent sure what was going on yet.  We scheduled surgery for Thursday morning on the 7^th at 8 AM. He asked us to go back to envision where they had done the previous cat scan on Friday and get a CD of the results and bring them to his office the next morning.

We left there and went to Envision to get the CD of the results. They were having all kinds of problems and it took us almost two hours to get the CD. I had at the time thought about leaving and coming back in the morning but then they were able to get me a cd.  

Connie wrote this email to Laura Gustin on May 5^th.

Hi Laura,

We received your package!  Thank you so much for the blessing bracelet.  I wish they would let me wear it into surgery, but they won’t.  So, I’m going to ask Sparkie to put it in his pocket for me.  The bracelet Is so special and the idea of gratitude behind it is wonderful.  I will wear it every day!!  Also, I love the picture of the pooches!!  They are so pretty and they look so happy.  We sure miss having a dog very much. 

Laura, again, thank you for thinking of me and sending the bracelet.  It means a lot to Sparkie and me.  We hope we will have some good news after the surgery on Thursday morning.  Please keep us in your prayers.

Mucho hugs,

Connie & Sparkie

This morning the 5^th, I drove into Dr. London’s office and drop off the CD, it turned out his office in Plano was right next to my family doctor. I think I remember us having a good day as we were still praying that it would not be cancer and that you would be ok. We also found out that day that Fr. Tim’s mother had passed away and he was supposed to do an anointing of the sick for you the next day.

I remember Wednesday the 6^th of May very well. I went to Bible Study at 7 AM and then stopped in the church to say a prayer.  I also attended the 8:30 daily mass. Somewhere right after mass, and I am not sure if I was at home or the church, I received a call telling me if I could bring Connie up to the church, that Fr. Tim would do the anointing of the sick for Connie. I was astonished because I had just learned Fr. Tim had just lost his mother and thought I would have to get someone else. Connie and I left immediately, and FR. Tim anointed her.  We then came home for a few minutes and somewhere around 11 AM, we took a trip to the Methodist McKinney Hospital on Eldorado Parkway.   Connie and I had decided to go there and make sure we knew where it was since she had to be there at 7:00 AM the next morning. That way we would make sure we were not trying to find the place at the last minute.

Today the 7^th, was probably one of the toughest in my life ad I had no idea how many more would follow. We left early at arrived at the hospital about a quarter to seven. They did not keep you waiting long as they took you back right away. Lizzie showed up first and around 7:15 or &:20 we were allowed to go back to see you. While there Sonja arrived and then Brenda. You were cheerful and we all together said a decade of the rosary. The anthologist came in to talk to you.  Connie was in for a surprise as the anesthesiologist was the husband of her OBY/GN. He was so nice, and Connie and he got along great.

Before we knew it was time to take her. I was so nervous as was she. I kept praying all the time because I was so worried. Lizzie, Sonja, and Brenda kept talking to me to distract me, but it was not working. There was a small place to eat outside the waiting room and we went there at about 9. I was so worried, but they were just chattering about all their plans, but I could not participate.  We did not stay long and the longer I waited in the waiting room the more anxious I got. At 10 I figured it might not be good news but kept hoping. Shortly after 10 the doctor came down and motioned me to come to a room in the waiting area. I knew then it was not good news. Sonja asked if I wanted her to come with me and I said no. He told me it was cancer and was all over her abdomen. To be specific he said he omentum which is something that covers all the organs down there. He said there were little spots all over it. I ask him if he took out her appendix as she had asked him to do that while he was in there. He said no as it was stuck to her intestines and he was unable to do it.  He said we should see an oncologist and start treatment as soon as possible. I ask him if we could travel during the summer and he said to do it soon.

I went to the recovery room and sat there waiting for her to wake up. About 10 or 15 minutes after 11 she woke up and ask me what happened. Then I did one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, I told her it was cancer. She just closed her eyes. I could not lie to her as we needed to start fighting this. Even though it was minimally invasive surgery they decided to keep her overnight because the doctor had to cut a little more so he wanted to get more biopsies. They finally got her to a room around 1:30 or 2 and I say with her except for a few minutes. Lizzie stayed with her while I went to get myself a quick bite and I bought her a little get-well balloon in a cup. Lizzie left and Connie kept trying to get me to go. I know she was worried about me, but I think she also wanted to be alone. I finally left around 5:45. I cannot remember why now but I stopped by Dave and Lizzie as I had to pick up something. They tried to get me to eat but all I could do was cry. I did take some food home but still could not eat. That was one of the longest and most sleepless nights for me.

I arose early on Friday, May 8^th, not only because I did not sleep well but because I just wanted to be with Connie as I knew she needed me, or at least I like to think she did. Looking at it now, I think she just needed time to herself to come to grips with what was happening and going to happen to her. I got to the hospital about a quarter to 7 and went right up. She was sleeping and resting or appear to be. If I remember they brought her breakfast and she was not eating. She was still sleeping a lot and I was not sure she would be able to go home.  Around 8:30, I called Dr. Connor’s office who was the oncologist who was the doctor the surgeon (Dr. London) had recommended.  They called me back shortly after I called and I got Connie an appointment for the following Thursday, the 14^th.

I remember little about Saturday the 9^th, but on Sunday around 12 or 12:30 we sat out in the garage and I remember Cookie and Sue Ellen coming by and Connie telling them about cancer. I could be wrong on the date as it could have been the 3^rd, instead of the 10^th.

On Monday, the 11^th, Connie was feeling good, so we went to the movie. If I remember correctly, we caught a 12:30 showing of “Hot Pursuit” starring Reese Weatherspoon and Sofia Vergara. It was so funny and gave us some good laughs which we both needed.

On Wednesday, the 13^th, Mike from Tempo came and did the spring inspection for the air-conditioning. I remember how nice he was to you. In fact, he was so nice that we always requested him and would wait until he was available.

The 14^th was the first meeting with Dr. Connors. We both really like his demeanor and were extremely comfortable with him. I remember telling him I had thought about taking you to MD Anderson in Houston. He told me if he thought it would be better for you or that you needed to go, he would drive us himself. He was waiting for the results of the gnomes testing to be sure of the treatment plan. In the meantime, he scheduled a PET scan and to have your port put in the following week. I think the thing that struck me the most about that day was my trying to get scheduled to get the port put in. They told me at the front desk that they would call me to schedule it once they had clearance from the Insurance company. She told me I was lucky that Connie had Blue Cross and Blue Shield as they usually provided the ok quickly while some other insurance companies could take up to three weeks.

Here is the email I sent after we visited with Dr. Connor on the 14^th.

Dear Friends,

While we did not get either good news or bad news today, we felt your prayers.  They provided us with calmness and hope as we went in to see the doctor. A big thank you to all.

We still need your prayers as they try to determine the source of the cancer. They have sent the biopsy from last week’s surgery to a lab that can do more advanced testing in the hope that it will give them more direction.  Right now, the next step is a PET scan to determine how much cancer and to get a port installed so that they can begin chemo as soon as they have an answer.  They are hoping to know by next week so that she can begin the chemo. Different sources have different prognosis and treatment. Please pray that it is from a source with a good prognosis.

Connie is not feeling very well and sleeping a lot. She is having a hard time keeping food down. She has lost a significant amount of weight in the last two months. They are hoping that with the right chemo they can get her to feel better.

Please continue to pray for Connie and I thank you very much for that.

Sparkie

That Friday, the 15^th, we returned to Dr. London’s office, for a 2:45 appointment. Even though it was minimally invasive surgery he did cut a little more than he wanted to, to get a better look at things. He needed to check the wound to make sure it was ok. One thing about Dr. London, we learned over time, he could deliver bad news but in such a way that you knew he really cared about what was happening to you. Connie and I never ask for a timeline, but we knew he thought it was serious.

On Sunday, the 17^th, I wrote.

Hi Guys,

Connie is going in for a PET scan in the morning at 5:45 am. Please say a prayer that she will get good test results. On Tuesday she will be having a port installed in hopes of beginning chemo on Thursday.

Thank you so much for your prayers.

Sparkie

On Monday, the 18^th, of May we were supposed to go in at 8:45 for a PET scan at Dr. Connor’s office. If I remember correctly, they called and it was rescheduled to 5:45 I remember us getting up at 4:30, and when we got there a sign on the door to come on in and go back to the scan area. We got there at about 5:15 and they were ready for her and took her right away. We were on our way home by 6:30. The next day on Tuesday Connie went to have her port put in for the chemo. Lizzie went with us. It was in North Dallas and the appointment was at 2:00 pm. Connie was not feeling good and we did not have any trouble finding the complex but we drove around it a couple of times before we found the right suite. They took her back a little before 2 and Lizzie and I stayed with her until they told us to leave. What was going on was posted on a TV screen, so we knew where she was at in the procedure. They were done a little before 3 and I was able to go back to see her. They would only let one person back at a time, so I stay a little while, and then Connie ask for Lizzie, so I left and let Lizzie go back to visit with her.  We left a little before 4 and Lizzie and I were amazed at the difference in Connie. It was like she was back to being her old self. Whatever they gave her while they were doing the procedure took away her wanting to throw up and she was doing so well, I remember vividly how much fun the ride home was. While most of that day was bad, that evening was good.

We were supposed to have had Connie’s first chemo treatment on Thursday the 21^st, but on Wednesday the doctor’s nurse called and canceled the chemo and reschedule an appointment with the doctor for the following Thursday. They had done a bunch of extra lab work and that was all completed but the doctor had not heard back from the lab doing the genome testing that he had requested.  It felt this was important so he could start Connie on the correct protocol. Here is the email I sent out to update everyone.

Hi Guys,

I just want to let you know that the doctor’s nurse called this afternoon and canceled Connie’s appointment for tomorrow. They have gotten back all the extra blood work they ordered but have not gotten back the results from the advanced lab on the biopsy taken during her exploratory surgery. The blood test did not reveal the source of cancer, so the doctor does not want to start her on chemo until he gets the test results back from the biopsy. He indicated last week sometimes they can never determine the source but if they can that will give them a better idea of the chemo to use.

Please keep Connie in your prayers.

Sparkie

It was during this time I was trying to find anything to get more calories into Connie as she was having a hard time eating. I went to the smoothie place and had them make a small smoothie that had 700 or 800 calories, but she could not keep them down. I would buy deserts full of calories and she could not keep them down. It was so hard as she was losing so much weight. I am guessing she was already down 30 lbs. and just could not keep anything down as this email to her friend Mary shows. It was written on May 21^st, 2015.

Hi Mary,

I have not been on the computer in weeks because it saps my strength.  Sparkie has given me your mass cards and read to me several emails you sent.  So, I wanted to write to you and thank you for all the encouragement.  It has helped in many ways.  Could I please ask you to pray for my ability to eat and keep food down and for help in dealing with pain and especially the effects of nausea?  There have been many days where my faith in beating this is so high and then nausea hits and it brings me to my knees.  Nausea really is the hardest thing to cope with.  If you can’t get food down, other parts of the body start to break down too until you’re a physical mess.  Constipation and insomnia is a problem too so you can see what I mean.

Your cards and emails mean so much and I read and re-read them to boost me up when I’m low.  Thank you for all you’ve done for us.  Sparkie and I appreciate it so much.  We’ve called Lizzie Brier, Sparkie, and me the “Cancer Crushers.”!!  Lizzie is our coach and helper at the Oncology Center and we’re hoping to beat it.   If you and Rick are ever thinking about going somewhere or doing something sometime in the future – do it now instead.  This thing hit us like a ton of bricks.  It came out of nowhere with no symptoms or signs.  You have to live every day before something happens.

I’m starting to fade out so I will close.  Again, thank you so much for caring and thinking about us.  We wish you guys good health!

Mucho hugs,

Connie

For the next week, Connie had her up and down days, and we were anxiously waiting for the doctor to get the test results from the genome test. On Wednesday, the 27^th, Dr. Connor’s nurse called and said he had the test results in, and the doctor would like to meet with us in the morning. We were happy that they finally had the test results but very anxious and nervous about what the doctor was going to tell us the next day.  Below is the email, I sent to friends after the nurse called.

Dear Friends,

We received a call from Connie’s oncologist nurse a little while ago. They received the advanced lab report back this afternoon. The doctor is reviewing it and Connie will see him at 11:45 am tomorrow.

Connie and I ask for your prayers that they were able to determine the source so that they will know the best chemo treatment for her. Also please pray that the source is one that has a good prognosis and is curable.

I thank each and every one of you for your prayers.

God Bless You!

Sparkie

PS: If you would like to be removed from this distribution please let me know. I know all of you are busy and probably have a lot of emails coming in. I will understand if you do.

For the next week, Connie had her up and down days, and we were anxiously waiting for the doctor to get the test results from the genome test. On Wednesday, the 27^th, Dr. Connor’s nurse called and said he had the test results in, and the doctor would like to meet with us in the morning. We were happy that they finally had the test results but very anxious and nervous about what the doctor was going to tell us the next day.  Below is the email, I sent to friends after the nurse called.

On the 28^th, we met with the doctor and there was some good news and some not as good. From the Pet scan, he did not think the cancer had spread beyond the abdomen. I do not think the little cancer cells on the omentum showed up but there was another area that did but was not very large. That was encouraging. Then he told us about the genome test results and they narrowed it down to two possibilities. So, after 6 procedures, exploratory surgery, and many countless blood tests for all kinds of diseases she was going to have to have another procedure. The procedure was a colonoscopy. It needed to be done so he could confirm which cancer it was. We had been at this for almost three months and still were trying to nail down exactly what it was. We knew it was cancer but were not sure of the type. I knew the colonoscopy was going to be a problem because Connie was having a hard time keeping anything down.   Lizzie went to the doctor with us and that brought great comfort to Connie. I called on the car phone to schedule the colonoscopy for Connie. I kept telling the nurse that I did not think Connie could keep anything down. She could have the amount she would have to drink by a third, but I told her I did not know if she would be able to do that. They told me she had to. We schedule it for Wednesday, June 3^rd. I was worried about Connie being able to do the prep work. The following is the email I sent out after that visit.

Dear Friends,

First, let me thank you for your prayers, they do make a difference and provide us comfort. The results from the PET scan were encouraging.  They reveal the cancer was only in the abdomen and that it was small. As for as the source of the cancer they were able to narrow it down to two possible sources. Connie must now undergo another procedure next week to either confirm or eliminate one of the sources.   After 6 procedures, exploratory surgery, countless blood tests for various diseases we hope they will be able to identify the source with this next procedure.  When the origin is determined, the oncologist says he can design the right chemo to fight it.

So many of you have asked to provide food for us.  Connie’s worst symptom is nausea.  It takes her down real low and keeps her down.  As it is, she cannot eat but a few tablespoons at a time – that is, if she can even get that down and keep it down.  The doctor said to get her whatever she thinks she can get down.  Most of the time, if she is able to eat one day, she may not be able to tolerate the same thing the next day. So, we really don’t need anything at this time.  She’s in a good place mentally as she’s gearing up to fight this cancer.  Please don’t stop praying for her.  She asked me to pass along to all of you that she is praying that God will grant all of you good health for the rest of your life.

We ask and appreciate your continued prayers. We are hoping whatever the source it will be treatable by chemo with a good prognosis. 

Sparkie & Connie

On Friday, the 29^th, Connie, Lizzie, and I were going to go to a movie. The movie was Sam Andreas starring Dwayne Johnson. Connie. Lizzie and I were all going to go see the 2:30 PM showing. This was a terrible day for Connie as she just sat in the chair in the TV room and hardly moved and she had not eaten anything at all. I called Lizzie and told her I was not sure we could go. But Connie kept insisting we go; I think she just wanted to see Lizzie. So, I called Lizzie at about 12:30 and told her Connie still wanted to go. I am not sure how she did it, because we could tell she felt lousy, but we did go. The movie was about a 9.0 earthquake hitting California and it was full of action. Connie liked movies like that.  After we returned, I went out to a Mexican food restaurant for takeout. I got cheese enchiladas. When I got home, I try to get Connie to eat some of it as she had not eaten all day. She took one byte of the enchiladas and one chip and that was it. Some of the hardest parts for me was her not being able to eat and seeing all the weight she was losing. I think that was the last movie we went to.

On Saturday, Connie still did not feel well, and Sunday was even worse, so I sent the following email on Sunday afternoon May 31^st.

Hi Guys,

If you have a minute say a little prayer for Connie. She has thrown up several times today and cannot get any relief from the pain.

Thanks

June – 2015

June — 2015

Tuesday, June 2^nd, was probably the worst day for Connie so far.  She was not feeling well so, I did Meals on Wheels with Lizzie and then I had a dental appointment at 3. I felt bad that she was alone so much that day. Tuesday, evening, she had to drink the solution for the colonoscopy scheduled for about 7:30 the next morning. We started at 6 and she was struggling to keep it down. But she was around 7:30 there was no reaction at all, and I was worried, so I called the doctor. He told me to go to CVS and buy some 2 enemas and give them to her. I did and Connie was so embarrassed that I had to do that.  The first one worked a little bit and we did the second one. It too worked some. The doctor told us to keep trying and rescheduled us for 8:30. I think we finally got to bed after 11 and had to get up at 3:30 to start more prep at that time. I have never seen Connie so miserable. We were completely exhausted when we left for the doctor that morning not knowing the worst was still to come. Thinking about that night will always bring tears to my eyes because I know how much she suffered that night and the next day.

Hi Mary,

Connie is preparing for a colonoscopy tomorrow, but she wanted me to write to you and thank you for all the emails, cards, and flowers you have sent. They truly lift her spirits. I am going to try to make the healing mass for Connie tomorrow, but it depends on what time we get back from the doctor.  Thanks for being there for us!!!

Connie and Sparkie

At a little, after 3 in the morning, we got up to do more of Connie’s prep. It was so hard on her. The email below is a description of what happened that day. Afterward, Connie and I viewed it as a miracle that we had not lost her that day. It was extremely hard on Connie and I left there crying as I realized how close I came to losing her then and then knowing things were probably even worse than we thought.

Dear Friends,

I ask you to continue to pray for Connie.  She was scheduled to have a colonoscopy this morning, but things did not go as planned.  She had a terrible time with the prep and after many hours on the phone with the Dr., she accomplished the first part around 11 pm last night. She then had to get up at 3:30 to start the 2nd phase of the prep. This was extremely hard for her as she has trouble keeping food or liquids down.

When the DR. start the procedure, Connie did not handle the anesthesia very well and started throwing up which cause some serious concerns that they had to take care of. Then the doctor found there was something outside the colon and rectum that was pressing against the rectum which did not allow him to get up there with an adult instrument. He was able to look a little bit with a child’s instrument but not very far.

For a while, they thought about admitting her to the hospital because of her reaction to the medicine and some of the medicine went down the wrong pipe. Eventually, after about 5 hours I was able to bring her home but am keeping a close eye on her for chills and a fever. If those develop, they will admit her to the hospital. So far so good on that front.

The bottom line this procedure did not eliminate or confirm where the cancer was coming from but uncovered a new problem (that of something pressing up against the rectum). The doctor did not have any good news to offer only bad. It was a very discouraging outcome.

We will see the oncologist on Friday (I hope) and see where we go from here.  Please keep her in your prayers as she is struggling right now with all that is happening both physically and mentally. Please pray for me also. Pray that Connie can get some relief and that she can turn this around and conquer it.

Thank you so much

Joel (Sparkie) & Connie

After we got home that day, we were both exhausted and worried with fear about what was going to come. At this point, Connie could barely eat, and the doctor and nurses kept telling me I had to try to get her to eat. But with everything she ate, it seemed like she would throw it up. I had been to smoothie places where they would make them with a lot of calories, I tried all kinds of fattening things just to get calories in her but I could just see the weight dropping off of her almost daily and it was so hard. We spent the rest of Wednesday and Thursday worrying.

On Friday, June 5^th, we had a doctor’s appointment with Dr. Connor, and we did not know what was going to happen since they were unable to do the colonoscopy. We wanted to get started on the chemo but were afraid he was going to order more tests. Thank goodness our friend Lizzie, came with us o most of the appointments as Connie and I were both upset, and it was good to have a third person to help us remember what he told us.  Our appointment was at 10:45 and we had the 8:30 mass said that day for Connie’s healing. We were surprised because Connie said I do not think I can do any more tests. Dr. Connor told her she did not have to because even though the colonoscopy was unsuccessful it told him the chemo that she needed.  Below is the email I sent out after that visit.

Connie saw the oncologist this morning and will be starting chemo on Tuesday. The Dr. said that even though the colonoscopy was not successful it gave him more information to work with. They think the colon is generating cancer in her abdomen. We are happy after all this she is finally getting to start chemo.

The Dr. indicated that this was a very aggressive cancer and that she will be on chemo for a long time. Even if they are able to eliminate it, there is a good possibility of it coming back. He said to plan on even if it goes away, she will have to be watched very closely for its return.

While the Dr. was very encouraging that this chemo would be effective, we will not know until she has been on it for a while.

Connie wants to thank each of you for your prayers and concerns. She reads your messages and emails but as she gets tired very easily, it is hard for her to respond to them.

Please keep her in your prayers and her Dr. as well. We are praying the chemo will work and that she can get to feeling better soon.

Thanks to all of you. We both appreciate your prayers.

Connie & Joel (Sparkie)

On Tuesday, June 9^th, we finally started chemo. We were so glad to get started and had such high hope. We got there about 8:30 and did not leave until around 1:30.  Lizzie had asked to come with us but she had been doing so much, that we did not want her to just have to sit there for all those hours. In hindsight, I wish we had because they told us so much stuff. Connie was in no shape to remember and I was struggling to remember everything they told me. We came home and she just collapsed the rest of the day. Here is what I wrote to one of the ladies asking about Connie, that afternoon.

Thanks, Trish,

It was a very tough weekend. Connie has not been able to keep any food down since last Friday. She started chemo today and they gave her an IV.

Joel

On Thursday, June 11^th, we went in around 10 to have her chemo removed. She had been wearing it for the last 48 hours. Everything went smoothly and she was exhausted, so I took her home to rest. We had already canceled our Trivia night reservation as we were going to a class on the chemo she was getting. Unfortunately, Connie was just not up to going. So, I called Lizzie and she went with me. The class was particularly good as they told us what to expect during the chemo. We were told with the chemo Connie was getting that she may or may not lose her hair. Below is the email, I sent to people on Thursday afternoon after having gotten back from getting the pump removed.

Dear Friends,

Connie started chemo on Tuesday, she had about a 3-hour chemo treatment and then had to wear a pump that pumped more chemo into her for a couple of days. We just had it disconnected a little while ago. As long as we can keep her blood counts where they need to be, she will do this every other week.

She had a rough weekend with nausea and some pain. If she was able to eat a little bit, she was not able to keep it down. She has done a little better in the last couple of days. She is starting out having already lost a lot of weight and being nauseous before we even started the chemo, so we are expecting a pretty tough time once she gets further into the chemo treatment plan.

One good thing it appears we can go back in and get her hydrated and some nausea medicine through her port even if she is not scheduled for a chemo treatment. I am still verifying the process for doing that.

She is weak and is sleeping and resting a lot.

Please continue to pray for her as I suspect we still got a rough time ahead of us.

Thank you so much for your continued prayers.

Joel (Sparkie) & Connie

I have no idea, why I remember what we did on Sunday the 14^th, but I do. Connie had not eaten anything much in the last week and after mass, I think I brought her an iced coffee from McDonald’s, which she was unable to drink. But that afternoon around 1:30 Connie wanted to get out a little bit. She wanted to go to CVS as they had toilet paper on sale. We went to the one on the main street and they were sold out. We decided to go to a new one on Exchange and Alma. On the way, I stop at Einstein bagels which had just opened in Allen and bought some bagels. Then we continued to the next CVS store. Connie was able to get out of the car and we went in and got the toilet paper. That adventure took a lot out of her as she had not been eating. We had scheduled her to go in for hydration on Monday, so I knew she needed to rest. It is so hard seeing your loved ones suffer.

Monday, morning the 15^th of June I went to McDonald’s around 8:30 at brought you some hotcakes. I was hoping she could eat but she took one bite and that was it. You were feeling so bad and you had hardly eaten anything in a week. I called Dr. Connor’s office and here is the email I sent out after talking to them.

Hi Guys,

I am taking Connie in this morning. I called the Dr. and they want to do some X-rays and some blood tests. She is not keeping anything down for over a week and they are concerned. Please pray that the test will be good and will give her some relief.

Joel

We got to the doctor’s office around 11:30 as that is when they told us to come. This part I am not sure about this, but I think this was the day you were sitting there and feeling terrible. This lady kept trying to talk to you and your head was slumped down because you felt so bad and I know you and I both wished the lady would just stop. I cannot even remember if we got hydration that day or not. I remember that by 1:30 they sent us to the emergency room. The emergency room doctor we had looked just like Lindsey. They then ran some tests to see if things were going through your system, but your bowels were blocked. Finally, around 5 they decided that they were going to admit you. There were no rooms available, so they put you in a staging area outside the emergency room until a room was available on the cancer floor. We were there until about 8:30 a little later. I remember you asked for something to eat and they brought you some soup. You did not keep it down too long as you had not been able to keep anything down for days. After we got to the room, they put this thing through your nose into your stomach to pull out all the bile that had collected there. I know that must have been painful. I finally left a little after 10 and cried all the way home. It broke my heart that you could not eat, and I thought you might never eat again. I do not think I slept at all that night because I did not see how you were going to make it as you were so sick.

On Tuesday, the 16^th, I got up early and was at the hospital a little after 7 AM. You were awake and I noticed how much better you looked and how much better you were feeling. Your eyes had the sparkle back in them. The tube down your nose was emptying into a big plastic container I am not sure how big it was, but it looked like it may have held about 32 oz or even more. It was almost full, and you told me they had already emptied it twice because it got full. It would be a couple of days before it would slow down. It may my heart jump with joy to see you feeling better and acting like your normal self. Little did I realize at the time that there were going to be so many ups and downs during your 16-day stay in the hospital. You even told me that this is where you needed to be today. We were not sure what they were going to do as Dr. Connor and Dr. London were consulting. It would be tomorrow before we talked to Dr. London. This day was a good one in that you were feeling better, but they still would not let you have anything but ice chips not even a drink of water. A dietitian came in to talk about her blood work and what they could do for her. The doctor had ordered that she go on TPN (Total parenteral nutrition) which is a method of feeding that bypasses the gastrointestinal tract. The dietitians would come by every day or so and they would look at her blood work to determine what nutrition they needed to put in or adjust to her TPN. I am not sure but for a few days, I think they gave it to her continuously over 24 hours. Eventually, they would cut it back so she would receive it overnight for 12 hours. Little did we know how long this was going to last.  If I remember correctly Lizzie came by that day and every day except for the weekends. Oh, Connie, I cannot hold back the tears today writing this as I am so lonely without you.  Below is the email, I sent once I got home that night

Dear Friends.

Connie is in the hospital NO VISITOR PLEASE!!  She needs to regain her strength, so we are asking at this time that she has no visitors.

After seeing the doctor yesterday and getting her some hydration we went to the emergency room around 1:30 yesterday. After running some tests, they decided to admit her at about 5 pm. By the time she got a room and they were able to start some treatment it was after 10 pm. So, I go home late last night and left early this morning, so this is the first time I have had to write.

They determined that the reason she cannot keep food down is because it kept backing up into her stomach from the small intestine. They are presently draining her stomach through a tube and hoping they will be able to get her small bowels to function better.

We have several doctors that we are interfacing with. The hospital doctor who hopes and thinks this procedure will work, a surgeon who is not as sure this will work, and our oncologist. This procedure may last for several days we are not sure.

If it does not, we are unsure about the next step, which it is my understanding that the oncologist and the surgeon will decide what to do next

Please pray that this procedure will work it is the best one as it would allow her to start eating again and to continue her chemo treatments.

They will start giving her nourishment tonight through an I V or her port. The dietician came to talk to us and based on her blood work, etc., the pharmacy will make a special bag of nourishment for her.

Thanks

Joel (Sparkie)

On Wednesday, the 17^th, I got to the hospital early and Dr. Connor came by, and still was not sure what they were going to do. Connie was not feeling as well as she had been on Tuesday but much better than she had for the last couple of weeks. The amount of bile being pumped from her stomach and intensities had slowed down and it was taking 15 hours or so before they had to empty it. Around lunchtime, Dr. London, who had done your exploratory surgery, stop by and we had a big discussion with him. He felt and had told Dr. Connor that he did not think surgery was advisable based on the fact that the cancer was in the lining of the omentum and was not sure that trying to remove something they were not sure about was there was not worth the risk. There were several reasons and I do not remember them all. We discussed maybe doing a colonoscopy bag, but he was big on that proposal but would think more about it. He was not encouraging but for some reason Connie and I really liked him, and he was always upfront and blunt with us. Even though he was that way, he had a manner of delivering it that you knew he had compassion for you. After the doctors had left Connie talked to me about changing her will. Since we did not know what was going to happen, I recorded that conversation just in case I needed proof that I was doing what Connie wanted. That afternoon FR. Tim came by to see Connie and gave her a blessing for healing.  Our friend Lizzie was there and was so helpful to Connie. Connie was complaining about how uncomfortable the bed was and Lizzie suggested getting an eggshell for the bed, which she said she would look for. 

Please continue to pray for her and I think you very much for that.

Our friend Lizzie sent out the following email for a rosary for Connie that afternoon.

Hello,

My name is Liz Brier and I wanted to let everyone know that we are gathering tomorrow, Thursday, June 18 after the 6 pm mass to say the rosary for Connie. Many of you have asked what you could do to help, and we all know the power of prayer, so let’s gather and offer Connie up for Healing.

To those of you who may not be Catholic, we invite you to pray along with us for her healing. If you are unable to physically attend the mass/rosary, if you would offer a prayer on her behalf it would be much appreciated.

We all know the power of prayer and how much our heavenly Father wants us to bring Him our needs.

May God Bless Connie and Sparkie.

Liz Brier

Thursday was just another day at the hospital. I remember we were still unsure of what the treatment was going to be for Connie and I were all on pins and needles. Connie was feeling better and I cannot remember what, but I was supposed to do something at the rosary. I am not sure if that was to thank them or ask them for prayers or what. We had a rather good turnout for the rosary which started around 6:30 pm after the 6 o’clock mass. I talked to several people after the rosary. Dave and Lizzie ask me to go to Pallio to eat but I did not want to. They convinced me to go and I felt so guilty as here I was out eating and talking to friends while she was in the hospital unable to eat. But I know she wanted me to go to the rosary and I am sure she would want me to go out with Dave and Lizzie to eat. Even though she was the one that was sick she was still worried about me.

Friday the 19^th was an eventful day for us. I had gotten to the hospital early around 7 AM like I did almost every morning.  She had a nurse the night before that she should see one of the surgeons in the hospital and talk to him about having surgery. We talked about it and we’re considering it, even though we had a lot of faith in Dr. London.  As we were discussing it, we found out they were going to run a test on Connie to see if her bowel was working yet or not.  We were unaware of it until that morning. A little before 8 they came and got here, and I went with her as far as I could. While they were doing the procedure, I went to the chapel to pray and I remember writing a prayer in the book there. I am not sure what I wrote but I know I was begging God to let her stay with me. I sent the following email from my phone at 8:09 that morning.

They are doing a procedure on Connie right now. This will tell them if there is a blockage in her small bowel caused by a tumor or by inflammation. Please pray that it is not caused by a tumor.  If not by a tumor the treatment is much better.  Connie and I thank you for your prayer.   

Sent from my iPhone

The procedure was done, and Connie was back in her room around 10. Now they would be checking to see how fast the fluid would pass through her bowels and it should not have taken more than two or three hours. After having all that fluid put into her Connie, was definitely not feeling well. Lizzie was there with us and sometime around 10:30 Connie looked at me and said Sparkie please let me go and closed her eyes. I call the nurse and they came to check her dramatically low blood pressure. They called the hospital doctor and he came. They were considering transferring her to intensive care, but first, the doctor just took her hand and talked to her peacefully, slowly her blood pressure started to increase, and after a little, while she opened her eyes, but I knew she was not feeling well. Gradually her blood pressure returned to normal. By late afternoon they could tell the stuff they had put in her was barely moving through the bowels. There was some movement but not very much. They then started the pump and the big bottle behind her started feeling up with a lot of stuff they had put in her bowels that morning. It was not a good day for Connie. 

On Saturday, the 20^th, I arrived at the hospital early as I want to be able to talk to the doctors when they made their rounds. If I correctly remember Dr. Connor did not come by but another doctor from his office did. Later that morning, Dr. London came by and he said the liquid was moving through her bowels extremely slowly. It was not the encouraging news we had hoped for but after the way she felt after the test, it was what we expected. That afternoon the line that had in your nose to your stomach came out and they had to re-insert it. I could tell how painful that was for you. But they got it back in on the first try, as they took x-rays after to make sure it was in the right place.

Sunday and Monday were normal days, as Connie was starting to feel better again after the test on Friday. I know I went to mass that Sunday morning and rushed to the hospital hoping I would catch the doctor on his rounds, but I missed him. I just hung around with Connie and kept praying. I remember on Monday Lizzie, stop by again to see us and Connie was always so happy when she came to visit.  On Monday, I left a little before six and went by Whataburger to get something to eat and when I walked in, I ran into Lizzie and Dave. It was good to see them as they were always so caring. What was amazing as we were sitting there, Connie called with some good news. They had let her have one sip of water. Remember Connie had been in the hospital for a full week now and she had barely eaten anything the week before that. All they had let her have was some ice chips every now and then. But that was not all of the good news as they had let her have a bite, just one bite of jello. I do not know how anyone could be so happy or so excited that their wife had taken a sip of water and had a bite of jello.  Another good thing happened on Monday and that was the tube from her nose to her stomach came out again and this time they decided not to re-insert it. I know you were thankful as that was so difficult to have in. 

Tuesday the 23^rd, was a rather good day. We were so excited that you had been able to at least taste something again and that you had made a small poop. You would have thought we had won the lottery.  Then Lizzie and Lindsey came by around lunchtime. Lindsey was home from medical school for a week and before they went home, she asked to come by and see you. It made us so happy. We would not see Lizzie but once or twice more while she was here as they were having a good time together. Then we got some news about how they were going to treat you. They had decided the best course of action was to continue chemo, as the other doctors thought that was the best chance of you getting better.  Today was supposed to be her scheduled chemo treatment but they wanted to wait another couple of days before they started. They continued to take her blood every day and adjust the TPN to meet her needs.

Connie is improving. The test on Friday was inconclusive but there has been an improvement. Last week one of the doctors was talking about hospice but he is no longer saying that.  She still has a long way to go and we continue to ask for your prayers. We feel we have been granted a small miracle to get her this far based on where she was last week. She was allowed to sip water yesterday for the first time and last night she was allowed a bite of jello. They are taking it slow and we hope she can continue to improve and be able to tolerate more liquids 

I just want you to know your prayers are working and we greatly appreciate them. She is in a good frame of mind and hopes she can get back on chemo soon as that is what the doctors want.  

Please continue to pray for her as they are definitely helping. 

Thank you

Joel. (Sparkie) & Connie 
Sent from my iPhone

Thursday, I got upset with the nurses and probably said something that I should have not said. As I mentioned earlier, they were supposed to start Connie’s chemo back up while she was in the hospital and they were supposed to do it today. They finally got started around 4 PM. After the first bag which lasted about an hour, they were supposed to start another bag. It was about 6 and they had not started the next bag of chemo yet. I know when they did it the first time, they started it immediately after the first bag finished. Finally, at 6:30 I started putting a lot of pressure on them. By 7 we finally had the lady that could administer the chemo, but they had to call and make sure it had not been too long since the first bag finished. Luckily, it had not, and they started the 2^nd bag. I am a very easy-going person but when it is something that affects your, wife, I found I could get very upset, and let people have a few words, that I normally do not utter.

On Friday, the 26^th, Connie was tired and resting a lot from the chemo but other than that she was doing ok. I remember because I took off and drove to Plano to get a haircut at 1:30 that afternoon. I think Connie was glad because all she wanted to do was rest. I got back as soon as I could and then left a little earlier that night so she could rest some more.

Saturday again was an ok day, as I could see you were feeling better. I did not know if you were doing better but I could tell you were feeling better. I arrived early on Saturday morning and you were still sleeping, in fact, I sat down and fell asleep until about 8 that morning. The afternoon was a little bit different as I got mad again at the technician. They had come to put a pick line in your arm so you could get the TPN especially when the port was being used to deliver the chemo. It was very painful on you and the lady tried three times and could not get it in. I finally got her to stop and get someone else. They could not get someone until Sunday morning and that was ok with me. I just did not want the lady to keep trying especially after three-time as I know it was painful for you. 

Sunday morning, I went to mass and was rushing to get to the hospital in hopes of seeing the doctor. I remember, Dave, Liz, and Lindsey ask me to go to breakfast but I turned them down as I wanted to get to you as soon as possible. Even with going through the McDonald’s drive-through I was there way before 10 but had missed the doctor. The good thing was around 10 they came to try to put the pic in your arm again. This time it was a different lady and I guess because I got so upset the day before this one was more experienced; she got the pick in the arm on the first try.  That afternoon you did a lot of walking around the hospital floor that we were on and even though you were not in great shape you were showing a lot of improvement over where you were when you were admitted to the hospital two weeks ago. We knew they would be releasing you soon but were just not sure when.

Monday the 29^th should have been a good day for us as Connie was feeling better and we were making plans for her to come home. She was feeling better but still very weak and she was walking around the hospital floor to try to build up her stamina. I was still having to follow her and hold on to her, but she was doing ok for the most part just using the pole that carried all the things they had going into her. The only thing that kind of spoiled it was the night before the nurse told her they were going to release her to palliative care. But we knew that was not true, Mayne a week or ten days ago that would have been true, but we knew what the doctors had planned. The decision by all the doctors was that her best opportunity was to continue with the chemo in the hope that it would work. All her doctors had agreed on that. While she was doing that, we would continue with the TPN until she was able to eat enough food on her own. We did not realize at the time that it would take about five and a half months before she could get off it completely.

Tuesday, June 30^th, we were very busy that morning as Connie, was getting ready to be released from the hospital. People were coming by and I was having to handle and sign so much paperwork. They took her blood so they would know what to put in the TPN. That would become almost a weekly thing as they wanted to make sure she was getting the right nourishment.  So, they gave me numbers for the people that would be bringing the TPN out that night and showed me how to use it. They also provide me with a number for the home health people that would be coming weekly to draw her blood and do other assessments on her health. It was so much to digest, and my head was spinning.

.

We had been busy all morning taking care of all these details and Connie was so excited to be going home and sleeping in her own bed.  A little after 11 Lizzie and Lindsey stopped by as Lizzie was taking Lindsey back to the airport as she was in medical school. They help us take everything down to the car and get it loaded.

Finally, we were leaving the hospital and when we first came, I was not sure this day would ever arrive, so while I was still concerned, I was happy we were out of immediate danger. We both knew She had a long difficult road in front of her.  I remember we stopped by the same CVS store we had been in the day before she went to the hospital. Connie even got out of the car and came into the store for a few minutes.  Here is the email, I sent to everyone after we got home, and she was resting. I had a lot to do when we got home so it was almost 5:30 before I got this email sent.

Dear Friends,

Connie and I would like to thank each and every one of you for your prayers because they have made a difference, Connie came home this afternoon after 16 days in the hospital. Home Health Care will be coming by tonight to show me how to get her food through a pic line. She is not able to eat solid food yet and can only take in small amounts of liquids, so far, in the near future, this will be the way we need to get her nourishment.  They are working to get her strong enough so that she can continue her chemo treatments.

While this is not ideal it is still better than what we thought shortly after she was admitted to the hospital. We were not sure at that time if she would ever come home and if she did, they would have to place a tube in her stomach to drain it. God has been good to us and has granted us small miracles along the way. I believe that was through all the people who were praying for her.

She is still weak, and it will be a while before she is ready to see people, but we are trying to get there.

I ask all of you to continue to pray for her as we still have a long and difficult road ahead. But as Connie and I have witnessed your prayers have made a difference and for that, we are deeply grateful.

Thank you, guys, so much for your continued prayers as we continue this fight against cancer.

God has been good to us, thanks to all your prayers.

Connie and Joel (Sparkie)

Tuesday night, they were supposed to bring the TPN and all the equipment and show me how to use it.  They were supposed to come around 8 but the lady showed up around 7:15. She had brought all the equipment but the people bringing the TPN had not shown up. Lizzie was coming so she could be aware of everything that I needed to do. She thought it would be better if we had two people listen and she always took better notes than I did.  She got here before they delivered the TPN. It arrived at about 8 and then we got to work, and I learned how to do everything. I was just hoping I would be able to redo it again the next night. Once we got it set up it took 12 hours for all the nutrition to empty out of the bag. So, for a long time, I would have to get up during the night and help her get to the bathroom. The TPN hung on a long pole that Connie had to drag everywhere she went. But I was so glad to do it for her.

July – 2015

July — 2015

Wednesday, July 1^st, was a day for us to get reacclimated to being home. Connie was tired and spent a lot of the day resting and sleeping. That evening I was able to get Connie hooked up to her TPN, and luckily, I was able to do it and everything went smoothly that night. On Thursday we had to go to Dr. Connors so they could do some follow-up blood work on her. Thursday night’s TPN did not go as well, I notice the two times I got up with Connie, the TPN did not seem to have gone down that much. So, after 16 hours when still over half the bag was left, I disconnected it. After talking to everyone they thought it was the pump, so they sent another one out that afternoon and after that, the TPN seem to work ok. 

Over the 4^th, weekend, Connie, and I just rested. She was still very tired from her ordeal at the hospital and the chemo. I was extremely worried as she still was not eating and not taking in much liquid. After the Thursday night fiasco with the TPN, everything seemed to be working correctly.  She had no energy and was struggling to do things. She was resting a lot. I was so thankful for the TPN as I knew she was getting some nourishment.

On Tuesday the 7^th, Connie had been home for a week. It was the first Tuesday of the month and Connie usually did Meals On Wheels with Lizzie but she had not been doing it since January. She wanted me to go and do MOW and have lunch with Lizzie, as she thought I just needed to get out. We were still trying to get into a routine with the TPN. We could either start it at 7 and be done with it the next morning at 7 or start it later and be done later. For the most part, we decided to do it somewhere between 7:30 and 8:30 in the evening. That would be what we would try to do. I did go to mass that evening as it was a healing mass for Connie.

On the 8^th, there was another healing mass for Connie in the morning. I did not go as we went back to Dr. Connor at 10:30 for Connie’s next round of chemo. There was a routine for getting all of this done, first sign in at the lab, and then after the labs were done go sign in for, her chemo. Once they got the labs back and everything looked ok, they would then call Connie for chemo. You have seen how it works on TV. They would get Connie settled into a chair and get everything hooked up. I would get her blankets and most of the time Lizzie would be with us and she would be there to talk to. After a while, it got where Connie slept more and more through the chemo. I would get the warm blankets and sometimes I would need to get her two. They also had little juice boxes and after a while, she was able to sip on some of those. It got to where we knew a lot of the people coming to chemo and all of us try to keep our spirits up. It usually took about 3 and one-half hours. She would leave with a pump that she had to wear for the next 48 hours. It was hard on me emotionally, but I am sure it was harder for Connie. It was so hard seeing her not being able to eat.  

Tonight the 8^th was the first chemo Connie had since leaving the hospital and being out on TPN. It made getting up in the middle of the night so hard as not only did she have the chemo bag on, but she still had to push the pole with the TPN to get to the bathroom. She started sleeping in the guest room which was a good way from the master bedroom so she could rest and get away from my snoring. Since we had started the TPN over a week ago, she would yell at me and I would come to help her to the bathroom. It was frustrating because even though I try to not fall into a deep sleep, sometimes she would have to yell three or four times before I heard her. It was so hard for her and my heart was breaking.

The rest of the week was uneventful as Connie would sit on the back porch for a little bit, but it was hard on her as she tired quite easily. We did not know if Connie would ever eat again but we knew she had to because she could not stay on the TPN forever. The TPN was helping as she was still losing weight but just not as and as fast.  Knowing how much Connie and I like to go out to eat it was hard to see her barely able to eat but glad at even the smallest amount of progress.

On Tuesday, the 14^th, Connie returned to the cancer center for hydration. Since she was having a hard time eating, she found that this was helping.  We would always go in two or three times between chemo treatments for hydration.  That day I also took our Equinox to Herb Auto Repair as one day during the previous week, I had hit a door that had been left swinging at McDonald’s where they threw their garbage away. I should have seen it, but I think with everything going on I was distracted. Below is an email, I sent out to update everyone about how Connie was doing. I sent it out on Wednesday evening the 15^th.  

Dear Friends,

Several people have asked me over the last few days how Connie was doing so I thought I would just send out a short email.

Connie has been home from the hospital for two weeks now and after some equipment problems, I think we have this intravenous feeding down.  I usually hook her up in the evening before bed and get her disconnect after she gets up. It takes a minimum of 12 hours.  I cannot believe the things I have learned to do.

Connie still gets tired very easily and does not seem to have much energy. Her spirits are good, and she seems to be taking in more liquids.  But she is still losing a little weight, but it has slowed down quite a bit.

She will be returning for chemo next week on Wednesday and sometime after that, we are hoping they will do more tests to see if the chemo is working.

She asked me to ask you guys to continue to pray for her as she has a difficult road ahead of her. We are so grateful to all of you.

Just know we appreciate your prayers very much and they provide us peace and comfort.  I will let you know when they are going to run the test to see if the chemo is working. Again, thank you so much for your prayers.

Connie and Joel (Sparkie)

The rest of the week was uneventful. Even though Connie was scheduled for chemo on Wednesday the 22^nd, of July we went into the cancer center on Tuesday afternoon for hydration. I believe it was this past Sunday the 19^th, after mass, I brought her an iced coffee from McDonald’s which she really enjoyed. That day was so exciting because I think she actually drank an ounce of it. That was so good to see. I know I rejoiced because even though it was just a small amount it was something, she had not been able to do before.   At this time, she was not allowed food but only liquid drinks and maybe clear chicken or beef broth. It was during this week that the doctor let her start eating soft foods. On Thursday Lizzie brought Connie some watermelon and every now, and then she would put a piece in her mouth. You do not know how exciting these small steps were for me. This was so hard on her, but I also know I was hurting, as her not being able to eat was so hard to watch.

On Friday, the 24^th, we went back into the cancer center so they could remove the pump.  It was a little after 11 when we got there but we had to wait for a little bit until the chemo in the pump was finished.

It was somewhere around this time that we came up with a new routine for the night. We always tried to judge how she was feeling and what time we would start the TPN as it had to go for 12 hours. As I had said earlier, Connie was sleeping in the guest room and would yell at me if she had to get up and go to the bathroom as she still needed help, she had to maneuver the big pole around and she was still weak and she just needed help.  But Connie came up with a good solution, we would both take our cell phones to bed and she would call me as that was much better than her trying to yell for me. She no longer had to wait until I har her as the phone woke me up immediately. We did that the rest of the time she was hooked up to the TPN. It worked so much better.

On Monday, the 27^th, we went in to get a shot to boost her white count, it had been good enough to have the chemo last week, but they wanted to make sure they kept it up. That was at 10:30 and at 11:30 we went over and got her hydration. Thank goodness for the hydrations as that seemed to help her a lot since she was still struggling to eat and not drinking as much as she should.  Below is a copy of the email I sent out on that Monday night.

Dear Friends,

First let me thank all of you who have sent cards, food, and flowers, called, or just stopped, and ask me how she is doing. It is very much appreciated.

As of right now, Connie has a CAT scan scheduled for Wednesday morning. I will be confirming that with her oncologist on Tuesday. This should give the doctor some insight into if the chemo is working or not. She is still being fed intravenously but last week the doctor gave her permission to try soft foods such as mashed potatoes, etc. before she was only allowed to have liquids such as broth.  Even though she can have soft food she can only have a small bite as we want to make sure everything is working. Plus, with getting all her nutrition intravenously she is not very hungry. She actually gained a couple of pounds on our last doctor’s visit; I think it is because she is so tired and does not have much energy. I have gotten quite good at connecting everything for her intravenous feeding but not doing quite as good on laundry and all the other household items she used to take care of.  But who knows maybe I will become a housewife yet?

We are asking for your prayers again as they seem to sustain and help us. Please pray that the CAT scan will show that the chemo is working, that she will continue to improve, and that it will provide us with positive feedback as she continues this battle. But also, to give us the strength and grace to handle whatever comes our way.

Please continue to pray for Connie and good test results from this scan.  

Her spirits are good, and she appreciates everything you guys have done for us but especially your prayers as she continues this difficult journey.

We are so grateful to all of you.

Just know we appreciate your prayers very much and they provide us peace and comfort.  I will let you know when I know something about the scan, but I do not expect to hear anything until we see the doctor on August 5^th.

Again, thank you so much for your prayers.

Connie and Joel (Sparkie)

The 8:30 AM mass on Wednesday, the 29^th, was for Connie. That afternoon we went to Dr. Connor at 3 PM for a CAT scan. I mentioned that in the previous email. On Friday, the 31^st we went in at 10:30 AM for hydration. We did that two or three times between chemo treatments as it seemed to help Connie.

August – 2015

August — 2015

On Monday, August 3^rd, I had a dental appointment. Since it was the first Tuesday it was the day that Connie and Lizzie did “Meals on Wheels”. Since Connie was not up to it, I went with Lizzie that day. After finishing delivering the meals we stop at Dairy Queen for lunch. During that time Dr. Connor’s office called me about Connie’s chemo appointment scheduled for Wednesday. It turns out her blood work was not good, and she was going to have to have some shots to boost her white cells. So, I went home and got Connie. We went directly to the doctor’s office for a shot. It turns out she was going to need three, so we had to go back into his office for the next two days.  On Wednesday before getting her shot we meet with the Physician’s Assistant as Dr. Connor was on vacation. It was a day we were hoping to get chemo but that all changed with the phone call yesterday. Below is the email I sent out after we visited with the Physician Assistant.

Dear Friends,

First for some good news. The bowel obstruction seemed to have been resolved. So that is good news.

The rest of the CAT scans showed no changes.

We met with the Physician Assistant as the doctor was on vacation, so I do not feel we got as much information as what we would have gotten from the doctor. But the doctor had reviewed the CAT scan and we are going to stay on the same course of treatment, so I guess that is a good sign.

Even though the bowel obstruction seems to have been resolved, there is still some haziness and other things going on there. It does not seem to have gotten better but it does not seem to have gotten worse. Because Connie is in a weak condition, she will continue with the TPN (food nightly through a pick line) but she will be allowed to eat bytes of different food throughout the day. We did not talk to the Physician Assistant about the TPN, but we are hoping in the future they will cut back on the TPN and allow her to eat more but we will wait and see what happens.

Connie was not able to receive chemo today as was scheduled. We got a call about 2:30 Tuesday afternoon telling us that her white count was at 0.1 and her neutrophils were at 0.0. We had to go in immediately for a shot. She received another shot today and will receive another on Thursday.  On Monday they will check her blood again and if everything is ok, she will have chemo on that day.

Because of her blood counts, she is very susceptible to infections and diseases right now. The main problem seems to be extreme tiredness and weakness.  Hopefully getting her blood counts back in order will help some.

I think we have been granted another small miracle because when we left the hospital, we were not sure she would be able to have anything but liquids for a very long time. She has been out of the hospital for about 5 weeks and now can eat small bites of things.

We thank each and every one of you for your prayers and we ask that you continue to pray for her as we still have a long and difficult road ahead of us. Your prayers have sustained and helped us.

Connie’s battle continues but with your prayers and God’s grace, we will continue the fight.

For the most part, her spirits are good, but she does get discouraged about her lack of energy and weakness.

We are so grateful to all of you.

Just know we appreciate your prayers very much as they provide us peace and comfort. We are praying that she will be able to have the chemo again on Monday.

Again, thank you so much for your prayers.

Connie and Joel (Sparkie)

On Thursday we went in for the final shot to build up her blood counts. After the shot on Thursday, I attended the 6 PM mass as it was for healing for Connie.    Connie was starting to take in a little more fluid and eating a little bit more but mostly broth.

At this point, I was getting genuinely concerned about how weak she was, but she was getting ready to try some real food. I am not sure when she started but I think it was this week or next. It was still soft food, but she started with spaghetti and butter on it. She did not eat much but it was a start and I was so happy to see her eat something.

Monday, the 10^th, arrived and since Connie had missed her last chemo treatment because of her blood work, we were hoping today that she would be able to restart her chemo as we did believe it was helping. As usual, we had to get there early so they could get the blood work done before we met with the doctor. When they got the results to the doctor which usually took less than 30 minutes, we would meet with him. Thank goodness all the shots she had taken the week before worked as she was given the ok to get her chemo. Even though it was hard on her, she was ready to keep moving on with the treatments. Now I was able to get her some of the things they had available while she was getting chemo to eat. They were just little things and she could not eat much but we knew things were improving. The main thing now was she was very weak, she still was not eaten very much but she seemed just so tired.  On Wednesday, the 12^th, we went back in and had the pump she had to wear for 48 hours removed.  On Thursday we went back in for hydration and a shot. Unlike the last time when she had to take shots three days in a row, this time they gave her a different shot and she only needed one. They want to make sure her blood work stayed in the good range for her next chemo. 

Connie was struggling with being so weak and I thought the chemo was taking its toll on her. On Monday, the 17^th, and Thursday the 20^th, we went back to the clinic for hydration. She was still too weak and unsteady to get into the shower, but she had always loved the spa. So, I would tape up some of the things that had in her and she would get in the spa. When she got out, she would sit in a chair on the back porch and just doze for a little bit.  Below is the email I sent to one of her friends on the evening of the 20^th.

Hi Nancy,

I apologize for taking so long to get back to you. Connie is about the same. But she has good days and bad days. I think the biggest problem is she is just so tired and has very little energy. I think because she was so sick and had lost 40 lbs.  before she started the chemo, it has been a little rougher for her. But she is hanging in there. Most days her spirits are good.  I will probably send out an update after the next doctor’s visit on Monday. Thank you for asking and tell Paulette I said hello.

Sparkie

Monday the 24^th, I remember so well as even though Connie was weak, she would usually walk into the clinic, but not this morning as Lizzie had to get a wheelchair to take her in to see Dr. Connor. Connie had lost a lot of weight at this time and she was complaining about her leg being hot. She did not complain about any pain in it just that it was hot. The doctor felt it but did not comment on it at all, but because all her blood work was ok, she started her scheduled chemo. We were talking to one of the chemo nurses and Connie was telling her about her leg feeling hot. She felt it and then went to talk to the doctor. Evidently, the chemo nurse felt that it was something that the doctor should look at more. He came out and told Connie he was scheduling her for a sonogram on Wednesday at 10:30 AM.  So, after the sonogram, we were going over to have the pump removed and get Connie some hydration. The following is the email I sent out after our doctor’s visit on Monday.

Dear Friends,

Connie saw her oncologist and had chemo today.

First thanks to all of you for your prayers.

Now for some good news. The doctor is cutting the TPN (food she received intravenously overnight) in half. He wants her to try to get half of her calories by eating herself. She has to stay away from dairy, salads, raw vegetables, etc. but there is a lot of things she can have. This will start Thursday when they deliver next week’s TPN.  He wanted to make sure her bowels are functioning normally.

Today was the first time we saw the doctor since the CAT scan (the last time we saw his assistant). He was pleased with the CAT scan and will be doing another one, I think after the next chemo which is scheduled for Sept. 8^th.  At some point, he will stop the chemo for a few weeks so he can do a PET scan. The PET scan gives him better results than the CAT scan, but you have to be off chemo for a few weeks before a PET scan can be done. We are not sure when that will occur.

He did remind us that this is not like some cancer where you go through chemo and are done, he says Connie will be under some type of treatment forever. That could be chemo at a lower dose or something else it is too soon to know but he wanted to remind us that when we finished this round of chemo we are not done. He had told us that when we started.

We are thrilled that they are cutting back on the TPN and she will be trying to eat more on her own.  Pray that that goes well for her.

She is still very tired and is having a lot of pain in her legs. They are scheduling a sonogram on her legs to make sure there are no blood clots there. I am waiting on the hospital to call and schedule that.

The small miracle continues for us as Connie will now be eating half of her calories.

We thank each and every one of you for your prayers and we ask that you continue to pray for her as we still have a long and difficult road ahead of us. Your prayers have sustained and have helped us.

Connie’s battle continues but with your prayers and God’s grace, we will continue the fight.

We are so grateful to all of you.

Just know we appreciate your prayers very much as they provide us peace and comfort. We are praying that the chemo is working and that the next CAT scan will show improvement.

Again, thank you so much for your prayers.

Connie and Joel (Sparkie)

On Wednesday, the 26^th, we went in for the sonogram, and they were running late, we were out of there in time to go get her pump removed and start the hydration. While she was getting the hydration, they had gotten back some preliminary notice from the sonogram and they sent me to the pharmacy in the clinic to get some pills to help with blood clots.  She took one while she was getting hydration, but that was the only one she ever took. Before she finished hydration, they must have gotten some more results from the sonogram. The chemo nurse came over and told Connie they were stopping the hydration and wanted her to go back for more tests. They had only tested her legs at the time and now they were going to test her upper body. As soon as the tests were done, they told me she needed to go to the emergency room. I was going to take her, but they would not let me. I drove over to the emergency room, while a nurse would take her there. The place where the test was done was across the street from the hospital but there was a catwalk connecting the two buildings. It was a good half a mile walk. They had Connie in a wheelchair and took her to the emergency room. It was then I found out that some of the clots had moved from her legs to near her heart. It was scary. The doctor showed up that evening and told us that it was common for people to develop blood clots, when on this kind of chemo.

The next morning the chemo doctor Dr. Connor consulted with the surgeon that had done her exploratory surgery, Dr. London, and other doctors. The next thing we knew she was scheduled to have a filter put in at noon. They go up through a vein in the leg and put something in to catch the blood clots traveling from the leg toward the lungs and heart. All went well with the surgery but we had gotten other bad news that morning from her blood work, which showed she had lost a lot of blood so they gave her a transfusion before she went for the surgical procedure. Now we had to worry about what was causing the blood loss, along with the clots.  Connie had been admitted to ICU on Wednesday and was going to remain there overnight on Thursday because of the blood loss and the filter they had put in.

Friday came and the blood work showed some blood loss, but the doctor was unconcerned as he said that amount was insignificant and something that may happen in a normal person.  The good news was they were going to move her out of ICU that afternoon and keep an eye on her for a few days. We thought she might get out of the hospital on Monday or Tuesday. It seems things were looking a little better. They wanted to check her stools to make sure they did not contain any blood. Luckily, Friday nights her stool was ok and showed no blood in it.

Saturday was just a normal day and I could tell Connie was already feeling better, and her energy level had picked up. It was unbelievably bad for the past few weeks, but I could tell a difference already. The doctor came in and was happy that there was no blood in the stool. After mass on Sunday, I went straight to the hospital and was hoping to get there before the doctor did.  I made it as he came about thirty minutes after I arrived. We were both surprised when he told her he was going to dismiss her today as we thought she would be in there until Monday or Tuesday. He then told me he was going to remove the pick line from her arm which had been in for about two months. He said now that she was eating half of her calories, that I could use the port for her chemo for her TPN. Since she was getting chemo every two weeks. There would be two nights every other week when she went home with a chemo bag that she would not be getting the TPN. We saw this as a sign of improvement. Because of the blood clot, I was going to have to give Connie, two shots a day (every 12 hours) of Lovenox.   They then sent a nurse in to show me how to give the shots.

I took Connie, home and made sure she was ok before I went out to the CVS pharmacy, to fill her prescription for Lovenox. When I got to the pharmacy, they told me it would be $8000.00 for a month’s supply. I then asked if there was a generic and there was, and it would only cost $780.00. He talked to the doctor and we were able to get the generic. So that night I started giving Connie, shots and it would continue through November. I am not sure, but it seems to me that the blood clot was the thing that was making her so tired.  Below is the email, I sent out after we got home that day.

Dear Friends,

Thank you so much for your prayers,

Connie came home today and is now in bed resting. As I said in my previous request for prayer, she had lost some blood and they were afraid of internal bleeding. Thursday afternoon they put a filter in one of her veins to catch any blood clots, that might be traveling from her legs to her chest. On Friday they started a drip to see if the bleeding was still occurring and moved her out of ICU to a regular room.

Saturday morning the DR came in and said there was no sign of bleeding now and none in her stools, so they rescheduled her to start the shots they were giving her for her blood clots. This morning they test her blood again and everything looked ok, so they let her come home. That was a surprise because we initially thought we would not get out until Monday.

On Saturday, the Dr. told me he had no idea why she lost so much blood, but the internal bleeding must just have stopped itself.  I prefer that your prayers gave us another small miracle.  This morning the Dr. said the blood loss could be related to one of the chemo drugs she is getting. I prefer to think it was your prayers that stopped the bleeding and we thank you so much for them.

Connie is resting and I must go pick up a prescription as I will be giving her an injection every 12 hours until they are sure her gut is working and will dissolve a pill correctly. They told me this could be a few months but really did not set any timetable.

They will be scheduling her for a procedure to remove the filter they placed in her to catch any additional blood clots in the next few weeks. This is an outpatient procedure.

Again, thank you so much for your prayer, Connie and I believe they have made a huge difference and we appreciate all of the prayers.

 We ask that you continue to pray for her as we still have a long and difficult road ahead of us. Your prayers have sustained and helped us.

Connie’s battle continues but with your prayers and God’s grace, we will continue the fight.

We are so grateful to all of you and with your prayer, we have gotten through this obstacle.

Just know we appreciate your prayers very much as they provide us peace and comfort. We are praying that the chemo is working and that the next CAT scan will show improvement.

Again, thank you so much for your prayers.

Connie and Joel (Sparkie)

Even though her oncologist had discharged her from the hospital we still had to go in on Monday to see him. I think she may have even gotten hydration that day.

September – 2015

September — 2015

The rest of the week was uneventful. I did MOW with Lizzie on Tuesday and I had two doctors’ appointments on Wednesday.  On Thursday I took Connie back in for hydration and if I remember correctly, we stop by a place called Chicken Express for a quick bite. Connie was starting to eat a little more solid food. Connie had a chicken tender and some macaroni and cheese. Even though she was not eating a lot she was able to tolerate solid foods now. She was still getting half of her calories from the TPN. I know I was excited as I remember it was not long ago all she was eating was broth and would only take a zip of two of iced coffee. Now she had gone from broth to pasta with butter to some solid foods. She was also drinking about half of her small iced coffee. Looking back on it the progress was slow but now I can see how much progress she was making.   Her energy level while not great was much better than it had been before she went into the hospital for blood clots. The rest of the week was normal, well I mean it was our new normal, which was quite different than it used to be.

On Tuesday, the 8^th, of September we return to the oncology center for labs and then met with the doctor. Since the labs were ok Connie then received her chemo and it looked like we were back on schedule after the blood clot ordeal. Now I was able to skip the next two nights of TPN as Connie was wearing the pump to deliver chemo for the next two days.  I am enclosing an email that Connie wrote to her cousin Dee who did not know about Connie’s cancer yet. I have omitted the second paragraph as I consider it personal and do not want to share it.

Hi Dee,

It was nice hearing from you!   The reason I haven’t been on the computer in months is because I’ve been sick for a while beginning in the spring.  Every time I ate anything, within 4 hours just as digestion was starting, I would throw everything up.  This went on for a month and a half.  I had an appt with my gastroenterologist because I thought it might be my gallbladder.  In 2013 I had a colonoscopy that was all good and the dr told me to come back in 5 years.  But when I went to see him, he wanted another colonoscopy.  To shorten up all this, he sent me to a surgeon and I had an exploratory on May 7^th which showed stage 4 colon cancer with an unknown primary source and also a completely blocked bowel which wouldn’t let anything through. Today I just started chemo #7.  I go into the oncology center for the infusion and then for tomorrow and the next day I wear a pump that gives me continuous chemo.  Then I go back on Thursday to give back the pump and get hydration thru an IV.  On Friday I go back for a shot that helps raise my white blood cells.  At first, after losing so many of my body’s nutrients from throwing up for such a long time I was completely depleted because of the blocked bowel.  They didn’t expect me to last thru the night and I was given last rites.  I am still on TPN which hangs on a pole and feeds me intravenously for 12 hours.  However, the dr recently cut the amount of TPN in half and wants me to try to eat regular food. It’s really slow going as you don’t feel like eating.  This thing came completely out of the blue and took me down with a terrible vengeance. The oncologist today told me my blood counts are those of an 18-year-old which made him very happy and is the best thing going for me at this time.  The worst side effect is the tiredness and lack of energy.  That’s the thing that I need the most prayers for.  The dr told me that this is a very aggressive tumor and I may be on some sort of chemo for the rest of my life, but I’m hoping for a miracle to get my life back.

When I told Buddy, he was shocked and has been calling every few days. I told him the dr told me this is hereditary, and he needs to get Victoria checked out.   —- THE REST OF THIS EMAIL HAS BEEN REMOVED BECAUSE I CONSIDER IT PERSONAL –.

Anyway, that’s our news.  We hope you guys are all doing well.

Take care,

Connie

On Wednesday, there was an X-Ray scheduled for me. I had problems with kidney stones and was seeing a urologist on Friday. The good thing about this was the X-Ray was scheduled in advance, so I did not need to leave Connie alone for long.  On Thursday we went back to have the pump removed. On Friday the 11^th, I saw the urologist at 9:30, and then around 1 pm, I took Connie in for her hydration. I was noticing little improvements, not major but minor things.   Before we went to hydration though Connie sent the following email to her cousin Dee.

 Hi Dee,
 
 I just realized that I forgot to answer your question about how Buddy’s doing. In August he was working in his garage. He went into the kitchen to give himself an insulin shot. Then he went back out to the
 garage to finish up what he was working on. Julie and Victoria were out for the day. After a couple of hours, he couldn’t remember if he gave himself the shot. So, he went back to the kitchen and gave himself another one. Then he went back to > the garage. Julie and Victoria found him on the garage floor.  He said he was there for 6 hours before they found him. He was rushed to the hospital and kept there for several days. He’s always upbeat and I’ve never heard him complain about his diabetes, but I think it’s been very hard on his body. He’s had it since 1991.
>
>
 Thank you for doing the novena for me. I’m hoping to get my life back at least to the point that I can get around and not be so tired.

 Right now, everything is an effort, but I’m hoping that will change soon.   Chemo takes everything out of you. I just ordered a wig, so I’ll be like my mom! My lower eyelashes have all fallen out. It’s so weird.
 
 Hope you guys are all doing well!
 
 Take care,
 
 Connie
 

Monday the 14^th, we went back to the hospital at 8 AM for an outpatient procedure on Connie. They were supposed to take out the filter that they had placed in her to catch blood clots going to the lung and heart. Her oncologist did not want to leave it in there too long.  Lizzie, Connie, and I all headed to the hospital that morning and after we got checked in and everything was done, they took us back to wait for the doctor to come and do the procedure. They came around 9:30 and took Connie back and said it would not take long.  The doctor came out and told me he that after looking at it under whatever they do, he was not going to take it out as there was a blood clot trapped in the filter and he was afraid if he removed the filter it would float free and would put her in danger. After talking to me about her diagnosis and looking at her chart, he wondered why the oncologist was requesting that it be removed. I could read between the lines of what he was saying, He came across to me as saying why should I remove it based on her diagnosis it does not matter. I knew then he did not think she was going to make it. His perspective was different than our oncologist who thought she was showing great improvement. We were scheduled to go get hydration at 1 pm at the oncology center but I called them, and they let us come over right away so we would not have to make another trip. That was nice of them.  Below is the email I sent out about that day.

Hi Guys,

First, let me thank you all so much for your prayers.

Connie has been feeling better the last couple of weeks. Today we went in for an outpatient procedure to remove the filter they had placed in about 3 weeks ago to catch blood clots traveling from her leg to her lungs.  They saw some blood clots still trapped in the filter and thought it would be more dangerous to remove it at this time and it would be better if they left the filter in till a later date.  We were disappointed but we know the doctor made the right decision.

Next Monday, September 21^st she will have her 8^th chemo treatment.  She is eating a little better but not as much as the doctors would like. She is still getting half her calories through TPN and I am still giving her shots every 12 hours (twice a day).

The doctor says she has to be very careful this flu season because even with the flu shot, she will get they do not know how effective it will be with her chemo. I will be getting my flu shot in the next couple of days.

Her spirits are good as we keep praying that the chemo is working.

Your prayers for Connie are deeply appreciated. We believe they have made a huge difference and have given us some small miracles.

 We ask that you continue to pray for the long and difficult road ahead of us.  

Connie’s battle continues but with your prayers and God’s grace, we will continue the fight.

Just know we appreciate your prayers very much as they provide us peace and comfort. We are praying that the chemo is working and that the next CAT scan will show improvement.

Again, thank you so much for your prayers.

Connie and Joel (Sparkie)

I made be wrong about the date of this, but I think it happening this week on Wednesday. Connie and I went to “Outback” and she ordered a small steak, bake potato a salad, and an iced tea to drink, I ordered the same. It was an amazing day as Connie ate about three-fourths of her steak and about half of her baked potato and salad. She also drinks all her iced tea. She had not eaten that much in over 6 months at one time. She had gone weeks without eating before and it always bothered me as we always love to go out to eat. That was a happy day for me and her. She would not eat that much often but in the future, there were times she did. I cannot tell you how happy it made me to know she could eat again like that. She did not have any problems with it either. Thursday, we went back in for hydration.

On Thursday the 17^th, we went back to the cancer center for hydration. Connie, I thought was doing better and feeling better and so did she. On Friday I schedule the following masses for Connie.

September 23 at 8:30 am

October 14 at 8:30 am

October 21 at 8:30 am

October 28 at 8:30 am

Monday, the 21^st, was chemo day and like all the other times, first, it was the labs and once they were ready you got to see the doctor and then if everything was ok you got the chemo. Today was a good day as Connie was able to get her chemo. The next day, I went to see a back doctor here in town. I was having trouble with my ankle and feet going numb on me and my RA doctor told me to get myself checked out for spinal stenosis.  I should have known then that this was not the doctor for me as I waited almost two hours after my appointment time to see him. He took some X-Rays and confirmed it was spinal stenosis. He said I need to get an MRI and he would be able to do minimally invasive back surgery on me and I would be in and out of the hospital in a few hours. So, we scheduled an MRI.

On Wednesday we went back to the cancer center to have Connie’s chemo pump removed. It was two nights that I did not have to hook the TPN to her port for nutrition as she would stay connected to the chemo for 48 hours. I was still giving her a shot every 12 hours.

Thursday, we had to go back in for a shot as they were worried about Connie’s blood count and want to give her a shot to build them up. While we were there, we got her hydration. Friday, I had an appointment with my family doctor, Dr.  Graham. Even though it was Saturday, I had scheduled my MRI for 11 AM that morning. I had only had one MRI and that was back in the early nineties when I went in during the middle of the night so my insurance would cover most of it. This time it was a big difference as I was only able to stay in the machine for about 2 minutes and then I hit the panic button. They offered me a valium, but I did not have anyone to drive me home. So, I ended up rescheduling it to a place in North Dallas that had an open MRI.