Sacrificial Love
There Will Never be Anyone Else But You — Ricky Nelson
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January 1975
A New Home in Springfield
Not Feeling Well
The Picnic — May 1975
The Doctor
Back To Dallas
September 1975
Rest Of 1975
This section will explain why I called the title of my web page — Connie & Sparkie – A Story of Sacrificial Love. In the end, hopefully, you will understand this was the beginning of many sacrifices that Connie made for me. She truly meant it when she said in sickness and in health. She was always by my side. I will say this it was an honor to be Connie’s husband.
Transferred– January 1975
January 1975 started out looking like a great year. I had gotten through college and was doing well at my job at Electronic Data System (EDS). The first week of January did not change anything but made our hope grow that I was going to be successful in my career. EDS had signed two new Insurance accounts toward the end of 1974. One was with Midland Life Insurance in Columbus Ohio and the other one was with Horace Mann Insurance in Springfield Illinois. I knew when they signed them there was a possibility that I might be asked to go to one of those accounts. I was hoping for Midland Life Insurance in Columbus Ohio because that was the larger company and would seem to have the most exposure. Instead, they ask me to go to the Horace Mann account in Springfield Illinois. They played to my ego on this as they told me while Midland would be a multi-year account that we would be running for several years, Horace Mann was a turn-key operation where we would work with the programming staff at Horace Mann to install our system, and then leave. It was to be a 12 to 15-month assignment. There would only be two EDS employees on the account, the account manager Marty Bell and me. I was told that since I worked so well with others they thought I would represent the company well and this was a good place for me. They also told me it would be a great learning experience since I would be exposed to all the systems and some leadership opportunism leading some of the client’s people. It would be a good assignment to prepare me for the future.
Connie and I were on cloud 9, as this is one of the reasons we had joined the company, an opportunity to travel and see other parts of the country. We had always thought we would travel a lot with this job. Little did we see what was coming that would change our plans.
I left in mid-January to start my assignment at Horace Mann. I never realized how cold it could
be until I got to Springfield Illinois, that winter was bitterly cold. Things had started well as I liked the account manager I was going to be working with and the people on the account seemed to be very nice. I flew back and forth from Dallas and Springfield until the early part of March. You can read about my Valentine’s Day adventure in the funnies. Anyway, toward the end of February Connie came up and we spent the weekend looking for a place to live. The thing I remember most about that weekend was it was bitterly cold. Connie and I froze just getting out of the car and walking into see different apartments. It turned out we were lucky as we did not find an apartment, but we found a nice duplex just across the street from where my new boss was going to live. One of the funny things I remember is while we were at the hotel the toilet overflowed. We ended up laughing about it as Connie seemed to have a problem with a toilet overflowing on her.
New Home Springfield Ill.
Our New Home
The location was 3105 Elmhurst. Connie and I were so happy it was two bedrooms; the kitchen was a little small (but for those of you who know about Connie’s cooking that was ok) and it had a nice basement.
Connie returned home to begin the preparation for our move. I do not know how I could have made it without all the things she did for us. Finally, we were ready. If I remember correctly I came home a day early that week and the movers packed up our apartment on Friday, the 14th of March. I remember us sleeping on the floor that night and the next morning on Saturday the 15th, we left Dallas for Springfield Illinois. I do not know why we took the long route, but we did. We went through Oklahoma City, arriving in Joplin Mo that evening at about 7 PM. We got a late start leaving Dallas and I am not sure why, but we did.
That night at the hotel in Joplin, I started feeling bad and broke out in a sweat that night and had little bumps all over me that looked like it could have been the measles. I let Connie drive a lot the next day as I seemed very tired. I did drive a little. Little did we know at the time that this would be a major event in our lives. We had no comprehension of what was to follow. We got there in the early afternoon and checked into the hotel where I had been staying while traveling. Our furniture arrived later that week.
The week started with me still feeling bad, and Connie excited about our new move. The furniture arrived that week and we were so disappointed as several things had to be fixed.
I remember there were some dishes and cups
that had gotten broken, but the worst thing was our bed. If you remember previously we had just bought a new bedroom suite the past November and the box spring was broken. They either fixed or repaid us for everything, but it was really a disappointment that the new bed we had just bought was messed up.
Not Feeling Well
It was right after we got there, and I started having problems, my joints would hurt, I would be very stiff, and I would be extremely tired. It was not every day, but I would feel that way for a few days and then be ok for a few days. I had no idea what was going on, but I could tell that Connie was really worried about me. In April it got pretty bad one day, Marty had picked me up and drove us to work at Horace Mann. Once he pulled into the parking lot, and I got out of the car and I could hardly walk becausze of the pain in my hips, knees, and ankles. It really hurt to walk and brought tears to my eyes. Marty went on into the office and it must have taken me about 10 minutes to do a 2-minute walk. I am not sure this was the day, but if it was not it was a day very similar to this; I called Connie and she took me to the emergency room around lunchtime. We were there for several hours but they could not find anything wrong, and told me to go home, rest and see if that helped. If it did not they told me to see a doctor.
The next day or so I felt better but Connie still tried to find a doctor for me. She kept calling doctor after doctor and could not find one taking new patients. My symptoms would subside and return. I had another visit to the emergency room in April but again they could not find anything. I would go for about a week or so feeling ok and then I would have several bad days. Just walking was so painful it would bring tears to my eyes. I would have days when I felt ok. I could even go down and back up the stairs to the basement. It was so confusing for me as every time I would feel fine, I would tell myself it was over and would not return but it always did. In the meantime, Connie was worried and trying to get me in to see a doctor, she was even calling OBY/GN anyone who would see me. Now this was April and she finally got me an appointment with a doctor for mid-July.
Before I get back to my health situation, let me tell you a couple of things that happened. We had a mouse in the place we were living, and I was trying to catch him, but could not. Anyway, we called Marty to help us. He and Jeanette came over. Marty and I finally tracked the mouse in the bathroom and closed the door, I went to get a hammer and I am not sure what Marty had but we both went in, and when the mouse came out from somewhere he scared us, Marty jumped up on the toilet and I jumped in the bathtub and the mouse took off. I thought Connie and Jenette would not quit laughing at us, as there were two big guys afraid of a small mouse. It must have taken them hours to quit laughing. Now I do not know what happened after that, the last thing I remember about that incident is how hard and for how long they laughed.
The Picnic
The Picnic
May arrived with me still having days when I was very stiff and having a hard time with all my joints. But the good thing about that May was that Connie’s sister, husband, and two kids came for a visit and it turned out to be a lot of fun. I took some time off and one of the things I remember most was a picnic and boat ride. If my memory is correct we went on a Monday, we left about noon, and like any other family in America, we packed up a small grill, we had an ice bag where we kept our food, hamburgers,
(Click on a picture to open in a larger window)
hot dogs, desserts etc., I even remember is cooking corn on the grill. It was just a normal outing that any American family would do. We arrived at a place that provided boat rides on the river around Springfield. We cooked and had a wonderful picnic then we all went on a boat ride down the river and got to learn some of the history of the region. That is the happiest memory I have of Springfield Ill. Below is a gallery of pictures from that day’s boat ride.
In June, things continued the way they were always going, somedays I felt good and some days bad but finally July came, and we got to see a doctor. The doctor did not give me a diagnosis but gave me some pills to he thought would help me. Boy, did they help, I was feeling normal. I started riding my bike in the afternoons and running again. The problem was the pills were only for about a week and when I ran out I started feeling bad again. But we could not get it refilled and to get back to see the doctor was a long wait. The pills were some kind of steroids and I did not know until maybe a year or two later that the doctor should have advised me against doing those activities. All the pills were doing was disguising the symptoms and I did some damage by being so active while I was on them. But things were about to change somewhere around the middle to the end of July, the salesman (Bill Wright) who had sold the account came to visit the account and someone told him about my health struggles. He asked me about it, but I did not think anything else about it.
The Doctor
The Doctor’s Visit
The break came in August of that year. I was at work when Connie got “The Call”. Now I was going to write “The Call” up as and put it in “Stories” — Others”, but it really needs to be part of this story; so here is some of it. Connie had gotten a call from Ross Perot, (he is the person who started EDS) but Connie did not believe it was him as she kept saying is this Marty are you trying to pull a trick on me? It turns out it was really Ross Perot and he had gotten us an appointment with a specialist in St Louis for Friday morning. Things went well, and the doctor ran a lot of tests and afterward, he told us he thought I had Rheumatoid Arthritis, but he would wait for all the tests to come back to confirm it.
Besides reading about “The Call” you can read in “Stories” – “Others’ about “The Movies –’73 & ‘75″. I have documented two movies I remember seeing with Connie very well and one of them happened in August 1975.
It did not take long for the regional manager (Joe Allison) to show up at our account and inform me that I was being transferred back to Dallas. I insisted that I wanted to stay on the account and finish the installation which was another year away when he informed me that would not be happening. He said Ross after talking to the doctor he had sent me to see, insisted I be transferred back to Dallas. The doctor had told Ross I would do much better in a milder climate. Joe told me I had two choices, one to transfer back to Dallas or two to quit the company but I was not going to be able to stay at that account. It was time for Connie and me to make a decision, and we did. One of the reasons we chose to go back to Dallas was that I liked working for EDS, there would be more medical doctors to choose from in Dallas. It was not a hard decision, but it was one of the first acts of sacrifice that Connie made for me. We had always talked about moving a lot and not staying in one place, we wanted to see other parts of the country, it was something both she and I had looked forward to doing. At first with EDS that was a possibility but now that they were moving me back the possibility of transferring was going to be very limited. But Connie did what was best for me, even if we had to give up the dream of moving a lot and seeing many other parts of the country. So, guess what we chose, we chose to transfer back to Dallas. Thank you, Connie, as that would be one of the first sacrifices you would make for me and they continued over the next 40 years.
There was a problem as we had signed a one-year lease on the house we were renting, and we would be on the hook for however long the owners did not rent the place. EDS said that would not be a problem and they would pay if the house was not leased by someone else. We were off to Dallas at the end of August, but we only had 5 days to find a place. We were not sure where we wanted to live but knew that I did not want a long commute to work.
Back To Dallas
Finding A Place In Dallas
It was early September and we were in Dallas looking for a place to live. We knew I would be working on Forest Lane, so we chose a place west of there because I would then be driving against traffic to get to and from work. We spent a couple of nights at an 8 Days-Inns near the apartments where we used to live when we had gone to SED class. We finally decided on a place near the intersection of IH-635 and I-35 which was also close to Love Field where Southwest Airlines flew out of it. It was probably not the best location but Connie fell in love with the apartment. It was like a little European Village; the apartments were in a little square with all of them having a different European face on them. I am not sure of the apartment name, but It may have been Brockbank Apartments. They were located just off Brockbank. Connie loved the European fronts of the apartment and the one that we rented had a nice bay window which she loved. It was a two-bedroom apartment with the bedrooms being located upstairs and a living room and kitchen on the first floor. The kitchen was kind of small which was ok with us as we did not need a big kitchen. We put down our deposit and headed back to Springfield to get ready for the movers.
September 1975
The movers arrived, and we headed back to Dallas, it was a long drive again and I remembered us stopping in Joplin again for the night. The next day we also stopped in Tulsa and drove around just to see the town. Again, we stayed at the 8 Days-Inns near where we were moving. The movers arrived on a Saturday and things were going well until we hit a problem I thought it was going to be a major one, but it was solved. The staircase had a bend in it and we had told the apartment complex that we were concerned that they would not be able to get the queen-sized mattress and box springs around the bend. The apartment manager told us that would not be a problem as there were people there with queen size beds. It turned out to be a problem as the movers could not get the box springs around the bend in the staircase. I was starting to panic when working with the apartment complex they came up with a solution. They removed the window from the master bedroom upstairs and brought it in through the window. It was one big long window. We lucked out. Now we were in our new place.
Before I started back to work the regional manager sent Connie and me to Phoenix for a 4-day mini-vacation because of all the work that I had done during my time in Springfield. We arrived on a Tuesday afternoon with the temperature in September over 100 degrees. The dry heat felt good to me. In “Stories” – “Others” see how aware of things Connie was. I remember we went to an attraction outside of Phoenix on Thursday evening. It was called Pinnacle Peak. It was in the mountains a little way outside Phoenix and they put on a cowboy show and then grilled out steaks. Connie and I had such a good time and enjoyed that evening, and we had dinner and enjoyed a cowboy show. We really enjoyed it.
Back to work after that and it was time to meet a new group of people. EDS had two insurance systems that they marketed, one was for large companies, and the other was for small companies. Before I left I had worked on the system for larger companies and when I returned, I went to a new group that supported the insurance systems for small groups. I got to meet a whole bunch of people to work with. I stayed in that same group for almost the whole time I worked at EDS, except for a couple of short assignments. The guy who replaced me at Horace Mann was Gary Wills. I would meet him later the next year and he and his wife Carol became good friends with Connie and me. That friendship has lasted to this day and I am still thankful for it.
Rest Of 1975
The Rest of 1975
October we were settling into our new apartment learning the new area of town we lived in and meeting some of our neighbors. The thing I remember most was either October or November, Connie and I had gone to a cafeteria-style restaurant, it was something like Furr’s or Luby’s. It was on a Wednesday if I remember correctly. The thing about this was my rheumatoid arthritis was acting up so bad, I could not even carry the tray. Connie had to carry it and even cut my meat. It was the first time that my hands hurt that bad, and that night even lifting the sheets seemed to hurt. I know it scared Connie, here I was not 30 years old and we had no idea what this disease was going to do to me. Thank you, Connie, for always being there. The next day they were ok. The disease is like that you can hurt for days or weeks and then you will have a time when you feel better.
November rolled around and that was a big month for us as my mother was coming for Thanksgiving. It had been a while since we had seen her. and she was a little concerned about flying as this would be the first time she was on an airplane. As usual, the office closed early on Thanksgiving Eve and I headed out to the airport to get her. I still remember how bad the traffic was and it would have normally taken me about 45 minutes to get there it took me almost two hours. I remember very little about that weekend except that we had a good time. The highlight was taking her to the Christmas Tree store. Back then they had a store that was only open from mid-October till a little after the first of the year. The people who ran it spent a lot of time in Europe during the summer buying stuff for the store. It was all Christmas items from all over Europe. Back then it was something to see. I am glad my mother got to come.
Christmas that year was a little down for us because of my diagnosis. In fact, neither one of us could come up with anything we wanted for Christmas, and am not even sure what we bought each other, except I am sure it was nothing very expensive. I am hoping to find a picture of our apartment. There was an alcove right behind the window that made it look like a bay window even though it was not. Connie had so much fun decorating the house that year, especially around that window.