While I intended to show Connie, what she would have seen if she had seen herself through my eyes, my words fell so far short of expressing my true feelings. I thought I could just write them and they would show Connie what I saw when I looked at her, and others would see it too. But as I look back and read what I have written they do not come close or even justify what she was to me. So if I ever find the right words, I will change this page so that it express better my true love for her.
Connie, if I had the ability to do one thing over,
it would be to give you the ability
to see yourself through my eyes!!!
Here are some of the things you would have seen Connie…….
That you were loved more than you knew,
That you admired more than you knew,
That your spirituality was contagious,
A sacrificial person,
A kind person to all not to just me,
A happy person who made others happy.
A funny person who made me and others laugh,
A stronger person than you realized,
A brave person whose bravery inspired me,
But most of all you would have seen a person who was loved by someone more than they loved themselves.
I saw a person that was loved so much more than she ever thought. A person whose love meant so much and who gave it freely. A person who is capable of unboundless love. A person who loved unconditioanly. I saw a person who was admired. A person who was so worthy of my admiration because of all her fine qualities. I saw a spiritual person. A person who no matter what was going on for the last 20 years, used her prayer book daily. Whether she was traveling or whatever came her way, the prayer book was part of her daily faith. A person who made me want to be better spiritually. A sacrificial person and that is what this blog is about. I saw you make sacrifices all through the 46 years we were married. I saw a person who gave up a very active life because I could no longer do some of the things we used to do. I saw a person who sacrificed her goal of moving every few years because of my health. Something we had always planned on doing because she realized it was better for me to stay in one place and with the same doctors. I saw a person who truly fit the definition of sacrifice as she always put my needs ahead of hers. I saw a kind person, one who was kind to those in need and stood up for those she felt had been wronged. A woman who stood up to management when she felt a woman had been unfairley let go, she was a person of principle as she quit over that. A person who always, had water, cokes, cookies, and ice cream for those less fortunate who mow our yard, and fixed things around the house. Going so far as to make sure one laborer had enough money to take his family out to pizza that night.
I saw a happy person who granted me the happiest life, by spending almost 46 years of marriage with me plus two years of dating. A person who liked doing things that would make others happy. Whether it was making afghan for people, or just doing some a little out of the ordinary to make them happy. I saw a person who made a lot of other people happy but who made me the happiest of all.
I saw a person who made me laugh and others too. We were so compatible that way in that we were like one person. Whether it was calling someone up to sing our special birthday song or calling them when they were on a long road trip just to make them laugh. You loved laughter and to hear others laugh. So, I saw a person who brought laughter to me and others.
I saw a strong person, who took care of me after my several surgeries. A person who helped me rehab from those surgeries. A person that I knew I could share my weakness with and concerns and she would be there to strengthen me.
I saw a brave person. That last year I saw a person who faced everything that was thrown her way and never complained. Never did you say why me, poor me, or anything like that. The closest you came was when we went to the doctor for the last time and we knew the cancer had returned, she asked Sparkie, why did God let me think I had beaten it and then let it come back. That was the only time. I can only pray and hope that I can be as brave as you.
Connie, you would have seen a person with faults, we all have them but despite my faults you always loved me, and you would have seen that I loved you with your faults more than I loved myself.
So, through my eyes, you would have seen that you were my sunshine, my joy, a person that made me better, and you were my life.
- I saw a person that was loved so much more than she ever thought. A person who loves meant so much and who gave it freely. A person capable of boundless love. A person who loved unconditionally.
- I saw a person who was admired. A person so worth of my admiration because of all her fine qualities.
- I saw a spiritual person. A person, no matter what was going on for the last 20 years, used her prayer book daily. Whether she was traveling or sick or whatever came he prayer book was just for part of your daily faith. A person who made me want to be better spiritually.
- A sacrificial person and that what this whole blog is about. I saw you make sacrifices all through the 46 years. I saw a person who gave up a very active life because I could no longer do some of those things. I saw a person who sacrificed her goals of moving every few years and see different parts of the country. Something we always planned but she sacrificed it because she knew it was better for me to stay in one place and keep the doctors I had. I saw a person who truly fits the definition of sacrifice as you always put my needs ahead of yours.
- I saw a kind person, one who was kind to those in need and stood up for those who she felt were wrong. A person who stood up to management because she felt a woman had been unfairly let go, in fact, a person of principals who quit over that. A person who always, had water, cokes, cookies, ice cream for those lest fortunate who mow our yard, fix things around the house. Going so far as to make sure one laborer had enough money to take his family out to pizza that night.
- I saw a happy person who granted me the happiest life, by spending almost 46 years of marriage with me plus two years of dating. A person who liked doing things that would make others happy. Whether it was making afghan for people, just doing some a little out of the ordinary to make them happy. I saw a person who made a lot of other people happy but who made me the happiest of all.
- I saw a person who made me laugh and others too. We were so compatible that way in that we were like one person. Whether it was calling someone up to sing our special birthday song or calling then when they were on a long road trip just to make them laugh. You loved laughter and to hear others laugh. So, I saw a person who brought laughter to me and others.
- I saw a strong person, who took care of me after my several surgeries. A person who helped me rehab from those surgeries. A person that I knew I could share my weakness with, and concerns and she would be there to strengthen me.
- I saw a brave person. That last year I saw a person who faced everything that was thrown her way and never complained. Never did you say why me, poor me or anything like that. The closes you came was when we went to the doctor for the last time and we knew the cancer had returned, you asked Sparkie, why did God let me think I had beaten it and then let it come back. That was the only time. I can only pray and hope that I can be as brave as you.
- Connie, you would have seen a person with faults, we all have them but despite my faults you always loved me, and you would have seen that I loved you with your faults more than I loved myself.